


March: I'm Gonna March You Down the Aisle

by gatergirl79



Series: Calendar Ships [3]
Category: Lewis (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexuality, First Kiss, M/M, No Beta, Robbie's PoV, Slow Burn, also posted on fanfiction.net, based on Married At First Sight, spoilers for series 1 to 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 01:15:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10583373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatergirl79/pseuds/gatergirl79
Summary: Lewis is finally ready to get on with his life, so decides to find someone to spend his future with. However, instead of joining a dating site or asking out his old friend Laura, Robbie signs up for a university study. He doesn't expect to be matched with a man, and certainly not with his sergeant.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This March fic has been a nightmare to write. This is my fifth attempt at a story, which is why it's so late. It was meant to be a short one shot but once I started it blew up into a multi-chapter fic. Whoops.
> 
> Anyway, this is an AU very loosely based on the show Married at First Sight. I've only just started watching Lewis (well, re-watching it, would be more accurate. I watched it when it was first on telly but I wasn't paying much attention) so you'll have to excuse any mistakes in the characters backstory. While Wikipedia states Lewis's son is named Patrick, I've decided to follow the fandom's tradition of calling him Mark, so as to avoid confusion.
> 
> WARNING: Likely spelling and grammar errors (sorry), probably out of character as I'm relatively new to the ship and thereby haven't gotten a handle of their personalities. Incorrect psychology and university knowledge (I'm winging it)

It was the loneliness that drove him to it. With Lyn and Mark fully grown and embarking on their own lives, and the anniversary of his wife's death just behind him, the thought of the next twenty years in front of him alone seemed...unbearable. Of course, many would probably call it a midlife crisis, and perhaps they were right, yet here he was, seriously considering it.

Robbie stared at the form in front of him, his final signature all that was needed. He hadn't ever thought of marrying again. No, that was a lie. He'd considered it a few times over the last couple of years. When Val's killer had been caught, it had lifted a weight he hadn't acknowledged carrying. He'd started breathing again when he'd heard the judge past sentence, and then...then he'd started thinking about the future.

He didn't expect to find true love again, once in a life time was enough, rather companionship. He'd considered, for a brief moment, which he'd find that with Laura Hobson, having known her for going on twenty years. However it never seemed to happen, it just never seemed like the right time. It had been an easy transition from friendship to lovers with Val, from the moment they'd met to their last kiss, it had always been simple. Never any awkwardness, never any uncertainty. It had just...happened.

Of course he didn't expect that a second time, but he couldn't shake the idea that if he and Laura hadn't gotten there before now, he sincerely doubted they were meant to. She was a good friend, but that was all.

As for his track record with other woman over the past year or two, well... if he were superstitious he'd say he'd been cursed. One turning out to be a murderer, he'd brush off as bad luck, but two?

Which was what led him to this whole silly idea.

He swung the pen between his fingers before setting it down, the paper unmarked, and leaning back in the office chair. Maybe this was just too stupid an idea. Morse would undoubtedly think so, as would James undoubtedly. He glanced up at the empty seat across from him, his sergeant having left a thirty minutes ago.

His mind travelled to his old friend and mentor, and it brought a painful knot to his chest, the familiar cloud of sorrow settling over him, as it always did when Morse flittered across his mind. As much as he admired the man, the thought of ending up like him was terrifying. He could already see it happening, so could Laura. Since returning to Oxford he'd found himself slipping into some of Morse's habits. The calming echo of classical music rolling though his flat at the end of a hard day. The half completely pile of crosswords scattered over his kitchen counter, in the glove box of his car. In the drawer of his desk. He even heard himself sounding like the man on bad days, when a case was getting away from them. James, surprisingly, took the foul mood and sharp worlds in his stride, in a way he himself had never quite been able to with Morse.

The memory of the old man laying pale and cold on a pathology table with no one there to mourn his loss but colleagues wrapped around him like a suffocating spectre and Robbie shivered. No, he couldn't bear to go like that.

Snatching up the pen, Robbie scribbled his signature on the paper, folded it and sealed it in an envelope, before he changed his mind for the hundredth time. Now he just had to wait and see what science had in store for him.

 

_ **March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle** _

 

Life in Oxford was pretty much the same as it had always been. Nothing every really changed in the city. For hundreds of years the posh old boys club had held power and sway over practically everything inside its ancient streets. Robbie hated it. Morse had at least been educated enough to warrant the respect of the college dons, even if he wasn't one of their kind of people. Lewis however barely knew his Keats from his Shakespeare, his Coleridge from his Shelley. Lucky then he had a halfway decent detective sergeant who could, and _did_ fill in the gaps.

They hadn't hit it off straight away. Hathaway was young and posh, and well a little too quick to show off his education, for Robbie to feel completely at ease with him, but over the past couple of years, they'd found a halfway decent balance. He'd go as far as to say they'd developed a friendship, though it was still filled with the unknown. For instance, Robbie knew little to nothing about James's family, or his up-bringing. He knew he'd trained to be a priest, and that his beliefs had cost him a good friend.

Possibly something more, Robbie wasn't hundred percent sure, and James avoided the subject.

 

_ **March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle** _

 

He got the confirmation letter a month after making the application but he didn't actually get around to opening it for two days thanks to his latest murder case, which had almost landed him in hospital. When he finally did get around to it, he was both surprises and nervous to see that he'd been accepted. After that it all went by in a flash. He was called in to talk some more with the psychology team. To give some samples. Frankly he'd been beyond surprised that they'd accepted him. After all, at 58 he wasn't exactly at his peak, but he'd been told by the beautiful Professor Elisabeth Gregory that age was just a number and everyone deserved to find true love. He'd told her how he'd had true love once and wasn't expecting, or even wanting to find it again. He just wanted...someone.

He'd half expected that to be his death kneel, but she'd just smiled encouragingly at him, in that way the young did to their elders when they thought they were being silly, and started asking him about his hobbies and work.

It was another month before he was informed by Gregory that they'd found him a match. She'd asked him to attend yet another meeting with her to discuss the details. There had been something about her tone that had made him nervous. He couldn't place it, but his old copper instinct were on high alert.

"How have you been?" She asked casually as they make themselves comfortable in her small office. Unlike most of Oxford, the building, and the rooms within were all cool and modern.

Cold Robbie thought every time he was forced to be there. "Fine, thanks." He nodded, gaze travelling the room out of professional curiosity. - Or perhaps it was simple nervousness. It had been one thing to agree to this experiment, to actually consider meeting and starting a future with a complete stranger. It was quite another now he it knew he was expected to go through with it.

When he'd first seen the advertisement he'd dismissed it as cold and empty, but it had somehow peaked his curiosity enough for him to actually look into it. He'd expected it to be some kind of mail order bride service disguised as a psychological experiment, and somehow the further he'd looked into it, the more it had appealed to him. He'd told himself a thousand times over the past three months that he had nothing to lose, and a lot to gain. - Only now...

"Nervous?"

Robbie huffed, shoulder jerking minutely. "Just a bit." He smiled tightly, shifted on the white couch and fussing with his tie. He'd seriously considering backing out since the moment he'd gotten the confirmation letter, especially when he thought about telling the kids. While Lyn had been encouraging him to get back out there, find someone new. _"Mum wouldn't want you to be alone forever dad."_ He doubted she'd be particular impressed by his choice of method.

And there was work. Having to explain the sudden appearance of a wife? He could just imagine the rumour mill. However he wasn't in a position to back out. He'd known what he'd been signed up for this. Had agreed to all the terms and conditions. Any lawyer worth their salt would be able to hold him to it, and one a detective's salary, he couldn't afford to be sued for breach of contract.

There was another reason why he wasn't willing to back out. A more personal one. The overwhelming fear of loneliness eclipsed all his worries. His determination not to end up like Morse pushed him forward. Lyn and Mark would understand, eventually, he was sure. As for work? Well whispers and rumours had never bothered him before. The only two people at work who's opinion he gave two craps about was James and Laura, and he was sure they'd support him, whether they understood or not.

"Okay." Gregory smiled encouragingly. "Now you remember how we were going to go about finding you a match. DNA, psychological evaluations, questionnaires."

"I remember." Robbie nodded, his foot tapping against the indigo carpet. "You found someone?"

Professor Gregory nodded, smiling tightly. "And surprisingly you have a high compatibly rate. Of course that's just on paper." She cleared her throat.

Robbie frowned, leaning forward slightly. "What's wrong?" He asked, suddenly alert to her rather uncomfortable air.

Gregory shifted back a little more in her white swivel chair, her pale blue eyes avoiding him for a few seconds. "You remember the terms you signed?" She asked slow and quiet.

Now Robbie was really worried, reminding him of his contract didn't bode well at all. He nodded slowly, eyes narrowing.

"The thing is Robbie, huh...well we were surprised to discover that your match was..." She dragged her tongue across her lips nervously.

"Get on with it, pet."

She smiled awkwardly. "It's a...man."

Robbie sat there staring at her, confused and bewildered. "Excuse me?"

"We discussed how this study wasn't going to discriminate by sexuality." she said in a rush of breath.

He remember the discussion, and he'd shrugged and nodded. Hadn't even given it a second thought because he hadn't for a single second imagined that he'd end up being matched with another man. "You said you wouldn't be ruling it out." He repeated her words back to her. "And I told you I wasn't gay."

She nodded sympathetically. "I remember, and we discussed sexuality during our sessions and how it was a fluid ever changing scale. I gave you those papers on the Kinsey Scale."

Robbie dragged a hand over his face, shaking his head in disbelieve. He remembered she'd given him a pile of leaflets after their discussion. He'd barely glanced at them. Instead he'd tossed them aside in favour of a murder report and the previous night's football. He'd forgotten all about it. "You've got t'be kidding me. I can't marry a man." He stated firmly.

She stared at him silently, her lips a pink line. Her left hand was fiddling with her pen while her foot wiggled side to side over her folded leg. "You don't really have a choice, Robbie?" she eventually asked, her tone taking on a firmer tone.

"But I'm not gay."

Professor Gregory exhaled a long breath. "Well of course you could back out but..." She hesitated for a few second. "...you know what it'll mean."

He glowered at her, eyes narrowing.

She swallowed thickly and set her notebook aside, rolling her chair forward and leaning on her now unfolded knees. Her entire posture changing for cool professionalism to desperate humanity. "The fact is Robbie, this is an impotent study that _a lot_ of people have put time and energy into and, well we only chose a handful of participants. If you pull put now..." She sighed regretfully. "We'll probably have to scrap the whole thing and start again."

Robbie stared at her, brows furrowing. "What, why?"

"This isn't just about setting to strangers up on blind dates, it's about the data. We've spent countless hours in interviews and collecting information. It's all interwoven. Every participant's details and data is connected to everyone elses." Her lips pulled softly at the corner. "Remove one variable and the whole thing becomes useless."

Robbie stared at her, dumbfounded and angry. Mostly at himself.

"I know this is unexpected and...unwanted. I know you had hoped for...something else." she said softly, genuine regret and empathy in her voice.

"A woman like?"

Gregory shrugged. "But it's six months." she reminded. "After that it's down to you. Stay together..."

Robbie glared at her disbelievingly.

"Or go your separate ways. Please Robbie, just go along with it for six months, that all I'm asking."

"And what about this fella you're setting me up with? What if he wants...?" He shuddered.

"I'll be meeting with him today. I'll explain the situation. If you're both open to continuing then I'll be here to help make this as painless as possible." She looked at him pleadingly.

Robbie sat in silence thinking. He had been warned, and he had signed up for this, he just hadn't expected it to go so epically wrong. He'd hoped to find someone to spend what remained of his life with.

 _At least you'll get some company for the next six months. No more silent nights in front of the telly eating crappy frozen dinners_. That wasn't at all comforting or reassuring. What if this guy fancied him? Robbie scoffed at the absurdity of the thought.

"So who is this bloke then?" Robbie asked, resigned.

Gregory sighed, slumping in her chair. "Well you know I can't tell you much. Need to leave you something to talk about." She smiled, chuckling awkwardly for a briefly second before sobering. "He's 30..."

"30? I know you said there might be a gap but..." He shook his head disbelievingly.

"You have a rather good match score. 91%" Gregory hurriedly reassured.

Robbie stared at her. "What could me and a 30 year old possibly have in common?"

"The police force." She said before she could stop herself. Her hand flew to her mouth, her eyes widening. "Blast, I shouldn't have said that."

"Are you saying he's a copper?" Robbie demanded. "In Oxford?"

Gregory flushed, dropping her gaze. "I can't say anything else."

He sat staring at her. This bloke he'd foolishly agreed to shack up with was a member of the Oxford constabulary. At his station? Bugger it, he probably already knew him. At 30 he could be anyone, likely a PC. This was getting ridiculous, how the hell was he meant to keep it bloody quiet now?

"Robbie?" Gregory called, drawing his attention.

"I need to go." Robbie replied sharply, getting hurriedly to his feet and heading for the office door. "Got to get back to work." he said over his shoulder when Gregory called after him.

"I'll contact you with the details." she said behind him as he yanked open the door and marched through it, waving a silent angry hand at her. He didn't bother closing the door, his mind was too stuffed with desperate panicked thoughts to do anything but walk.

 

_ **March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle** _

 

Robbie stood staring into the station canteen wondering who it was. He knew from what he'd heard going around that at least three of PCs were openly gay; Chambers, Palace and Radawski. Rebecca Chambers was easily illuminated. Jonathan Palace had apparently been with the same fella for five years, and according to the desk sergeant he and his partner were looking forward to adopting a baby girl soon. Which left Stefan Radawski.

Robbie looked at the young man, his dark auburn hair and pale skin. He was a larger build than Robbie, making it clear he spent time at the gym. The only time Robbie went to the gym was when he was as part of his physio therapist after he'd done his back in. He wasn't a body language expert by any means, but age and experience was all he need to know this guy wasn't very well liked by his colleagues. That didn't bode well him.

"Sir?"

Robbie turned at the sound of his name to find James regarding him. "What is it?"

"Just got the forensics back, sir." He held out the file.

Robbie nodded, turning swiftly away from the canteen. He took the file from Hathaway's hand and began to flick through it. "Looks like Baskill was in Professor Weaver's office after all." he said as they passed through the double doors.

All thoughts of his upcoming gay marriage were forgotten. For now.

 

**_March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

Two weeks later Lewis arrived early at the local registry office. He'd book the day off the moment Gregory had informed him of the wedding date. He'd expected James to ask questions about his plans, considering how sudden it was, but the young man looked relieved. Robbie understood why, the last few months had been busy for them both, they deserved a few days leave. He looked down at his work suit and sighed. Some effort was probably expected, but he wasn't going to by a new suit for a marriage that wasn't real and he didn't particually want to be going ahead with.

 _You only have yourself to blame._ He reminded himself.

He was met at the door by Gregory, smiling like the cat that got the cream. She had made the effort, he noted and once again he felt a touch ashamed of himself. Val would have had his guts for garters if he'd turned up to their wedding in his third best work suit. He shook the thought away and walked over, forcing a polite smile.

"I thought for a moment that you'd backed out." Gregory said, touching his arm welcomingly

"Sorry, bit of traffic." He looked around the nearly empty foyer, then back to her. "You look nice." He said sincerely.

"Thank you. You too."

Robbie shook his head. "I'm sorry I didn't make more of an effort."

She smiled understandingly. "You look fine."

"So..." he murmured, taking a deep breath. "Where is...he?" Robbie asked nervously.

"He's in the registrar's office with Father Wyden and Professor Kirkwood."

Robbie nodded. He'd only met the men a couple of times. Father Wyden was there to give spiritual guidance and reassurance to the participants. Robbie had asked him why exactly he was getting involved in the study, especially when there was no guarantee that any of the marriages would actually last. The man had smiled and given him a long winded lecture about finding love in the strangest of places, and god moving in mysterious ways. He'd probably said a lot more, but quite frankly Robbie had stopped listening.

As for Kirkwood, he'd only met with him twice, during the initial interview stage. There was something about the man that had left Robbie feeling a suspicious itch in the back of his mind, but the truth was Robbie generally felt that way about Oxford professors, so he'd just dismissed it as simply disliking the man.

"Well, I'm not getting' any younger." he sighed, fussing with his tie and jacket one last time. "Let's get this over with Lass."

Gregory inclined her head and slipped her arm through his, leading him towards the room he was going to be meeting his mystery man in.

When he'd agreed to this he'd hope it would lead to something more lasting, which was really the only way he'd convinced himself it wasn't such a foolhardy, disloyal thing to do. Val always said, in that way people did, that she didn't want him to mourn forever if anything happened to her. That she wanted him to find someone and keep living. He hadn't been able to do that, not her ghost had been laid to rest. Simon Monkford's arrest had felt like a sign. It was time to live again.

This however hadn't been how he'd expected to do it.

They reached the office door and Robbie took a deep breath, sending up a prayer of forgiveness to Val. He would have prayed for help too, but he and god weren't on speaking terms anymore.

"Ready?" Gregory asked with a warm encouraging smile.

Robbie nodded and held his breath as the young woman who'd convinced him to go along with this stepped forward and opened the door. He stepped cautiously inside and the ground beneath him opened up. "Hathaway?"

"Sir?" The lad gasped, eyes wide with horror.

 

_ **March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

The ceremony was quick and almost painless. Robbie had tried to insist that they couldn't possibly go through with it now. Hathaway was his sergeant, they worked together. They were friends. Gregory stood silently, looking between him and James while Kirkwood insisted that it didn't change anything, and it in fact helped their study. He went off on a tangent to another couple of colleagues about work place relationships and the stress they cause, and stuff Robbie blocked out as he turned pleading eyes on Gregory.

Father Wyden had started going on about friendship being a strong foundation for every successful marriage. Robbie rolled his eyes and looked at James, who was stood with that trade mark smirk painted across his face, leaning back against the registrars table and watching him.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Robbie demanded.

James shrugged, smiling and shaking his head. Robbie sighed and turned away from his young sergeant, catching a glimpse of confusion and discomfort on the poor registrars face, before turning to Gregory.

"We can't do this." he said firmly.

"Well you're free to leave, Mr Lewis..."

"Detective Inspector." he corrected petulantly.

Kirkwood raised an unimpressed brow and continued. "But be assure you'll be hearing from out solicitors. I know Elisabeth informed you of what your departure would mean to this project and..."

"Yeah yeah." Robbie sighed, waving a hand at the man to silence him. "I know." he looked over at James and exhaled a long weary sigh. "You and me will be having words." he warned as he stepped up next to James. "Let's get this over with."

When it was over, Robbie signed his name, stood back and watched as James did the same, then took the marriage certificate from the registrars and marched furiously out of the office. He was almost to the main door of the town hall when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Sir, Dr Gregory." Hathaway said, halting him.

Robbie turned to see the woman hurrying towards him. He took a breath and closed his eyes, waiting for her approach.

"Robbie." she panted. "I'm sorry."

He sighed, shaking his head. "Like you said, I knew what I was signing up for."

She looked between him and James. "If I'd known you worked together, I..." she trailed off and Robbie could tell from the look on her face that she wouldn't have done anything.

"Its fine, Professor Gregory." James reassured. "You couldn't have known."

Robbie sighed once more and forced a reassuring smile. "He's right." She didn't look particularly convinced, and frankly neither was he. All she'd have to have done was called the station, dropped by. They're jobs weren't top secret.

They all stood in an awkward silent for a few seconds and then Gregory straightened, that mask of professionalism taking her over again. "Well...I suppose we should just try to make the best of it."

Robbie pressed his lips into a tight line to avoid scoffing at her.

"You're aware you'll be expected to cohabit for the next six months."

Robbie glanced over at James. He had to admit that the prospect wasn't half as daunting as it had been an hour ago. Though he had no idea what James was going to be like as a flatmate, at least he knew he wasn't going to have to walk on eggshells and that James wasn't going to run roughshod over his home.

She held out a paper bag to him, but James took it before he could react. "We want you to keep a video diary each. There's a video camera and tapes. There's also a book of tasks and questions we'd like you do fill in." she smiled apologetically as Robbie. "We'll meet each week, on Fridays at 7pm, bring the tapes with you and we'll provide you with fresh ones."

Robbie gave her a sharp nod. "Is that everything?" he asked sharply.

Gregory looked between the pair and exhaled a long breath. "Yes."

Robbie turned to leave, but was stopped once more by Gregory. "Robbie, thank you. I mean it." she smiled. "You saved a lot of people's hard work by doing this."

Robbie stared at her, then surrendered. "We'll see you on Friday, Professor."

They left the town hall in silence, James strolling casually at his side. "No one at work can know about this." Robbie announced suddenly as they reached into their car.

"Of course sir." Hathaway grumbled.

Robbie climbed behind the wheel and slammed the door, James following suit a second later. "Obviously you'll be moving into mine." he said as he started the car. "I have a sofa bed."

"Since when?" James frowned. He'd only been at Robbie's a week ago.

"It was delivered yesterday." he shot James a look out of the side of his eyes and saw the younger officer smirking again. "Stop that."

"I'm not doing anything, sir." James insisted.

"You're grinning, this is not funny."

"I disagree, sir."

Robbie turned to glower at him, then shook his head and found himself grinning. "Why didn't you tell me you'd sighed up for this?"

"Why didn't you?"

Robbie shrugged. He actually had no idea why he hadn't told James, or Laura for that matter. "Embarrassment."

Hathaway stared down at his hands folded in his lap. "Same."

They sat in silence for a long few minutes, listening to the traffic roll past before Robbie started the engine. "I think we could both use a drink."

"Excellent idea, sir."

With his hands around the wheel and his foot on the brake, Robbie looked at James. "You can't keep calling me, sir, James. We're married now, you're going to have to start getting used to calling me Robbie. At least outside the office."

James looked at him for a moment then nodded. "Alright, Robbie."

Robbie smiled and pulled out into traffic. Yeah, this wasn't going to be half as bad as he'd expected.

 

_ **March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle** _

 

Robbie set the new sheets on the shelf of his hall closet and stepped back, examining it. He'd cleared as much space as he was able. If he'd had a larger flat, or at least a second bedroom not of this would be necessary. Trouble was he didn't. The property bubble had burst just before it became necessary to sell the house. Meaning he'd lost money rather than gained it. He'd had enough to pay off Val's funeral bills and find somewhere small, this place, when he'd gotten back from the holiday Lyn had forced him to go on.

So regretfully James was stuck with spending the next six months on the couch, and hanging his suits in the now empty broom closet. The hover having been shifted to the corner of his bedroom. He'd already warned James during their afternoon at the pub. - Their wedding reception, James had jokingly called it. Robbie hadn't been amused at first, but as the afternoon rolled on he'd felt his frustration and anger seep away.

James had eventually told him why he'd gone in for the experiment in the first place. After, of course, he'd weaselled Robbie's reasons out of him. Apparently a friend had called in a favour, or so he said. It wasn't that Robbie didn't believe him, per se, but rather...he didn't believe him. He'd gotten pretty blood good at reading the lad over the past three, almost four years. He knew when he was hiding something, but he also knew not to push for answers. When he did, James shut down completely. The lad would tell him when he was ready.

At eight o'clock his bell rang and Robbie's stomach dropped as he headed to answer it. Hathaway was stood on his front step, a holdall hanging from one shoulder, a suit carrier from the other and his guitar case in his left hand. Robbie smiled welcomingly and stepped back from the door. James brushed past him. Like Robbie, he'd stripped out of his suit and was now dresses casually in jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt. "Is that all you have?" Robbie asked, closing the door behind his new house guest.

"It's all I need." James replied matter-of-factly, hovering uncertainly in the communal hall. "I thought it might look...suspicious if I showed up with more."

They'd spent the afternoon also discussing how they were going to keep work from discovering their temporary marriage. Lord only knew what Chief Superintendent Innocent would do if she found out. Not to mention the crap James would get from the rest of the station. He already had a hard time fitting among the lad, without rumours of sleeping with the boss circulating.

In the end they decided to just take it a day at a time. If, or when, anyone found out James was living with him, they'd just say his flat was being refurbished or there was some other emergency and Robbie had offered him the use of his couch. If they didn't make a big deal out of it, neither, hopefully, would anyone else.

"Alright in you come." Robbie ordered, leading James into ground floor flat in the converted Victorian semi-detected he'd been living in for almost two years now. "Bathroom," he gestured to the door on his left. "My room." He nodded right. He paused at the hall closet, yanking it open. "You can keep your things in here." when he turned, James was grinning at him. Robbie rolled his eyes. "Shut up and dump your stuff."

While James hung up his suits and stashed away his other stuff, Robbie headed off to the kitchen. "Tea?"

"No thank you, sir." James called from the hall, only to appear at the breakfast bar a few seconds later.

"What did I tell you about the sir?"

"Sorry, habit." he smiled apologetically.

Robbie rolled his eyes and went about making himself a cup of tea. "There's beer in the fridge." he glanced over to James when the man didn't move, his brow raised questioningly.

"Uh, I..." James cleared his throat. "I know it's our wedding night, _Robbie_ but..." he chuckled when Robbie glowered at him, unamused."...I'm meant to be meeting up with the band. We have to practice for a show next weekend."

Robbie turned, leaning back on the kitchen counter and folding his arms. "So that's how it's going to be is it?" he scoffed. "Me sat at home while you go running around the city playing music and getting drunk?"

James smirked and shrugged.

"What would you have done if it hadn't have been me waltzing into the office this morning?" he wondered.

James dropped his gaze to the counter in front of him and sighed. "I don't know." he replied coolly. "Professor Gregory had already told me that my match wasn't interested in a relationship with a man, so I didn't really expect anything." he looked up finally, meeting Robbie's gaze. There was a smile on his face but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "So I figured there, _you_ , weren't going to care that much if I carried on living my life."

Robbie watched him silently, and James watched right back. The sound of the kettle switching off startled Robbie out of their staring contest, and he pushed himself off the counter. "Well, you right, there's no reason we can't just carry on as if none of this is actually happening. - So have a good time." he dismissed, reaching for a cup.

It was a long few seconds before James eventually moved away from the kitchen counter and headed for the front door.

"Oh James!" Robbie suddenly yelled, remembering he hadn't given James the spare key.

"Yes?" the young blond said, half way back to the kitchen when Robbie appeared in the hall.

"Here." he tossed the set of keys to his sergeant. "Lock up when you get in."

James looked down at his hand then up at Robbie. "I won't be late."

"Whatever, lad, this is your place too. For now at least." Robbie shrugged, smiling briefly before going back to his tea. He was fetching the milk when the front door closed. Alone once more, he finished making his tea then carried it over to the new couch and settled in for an evening with Gary Linker.


	2. Chapter 2

Robbie was comfortably settled in bed and half asleep when he heard the front door go. For a few seconds he was on alert, sitting up slowly and ready to confront the intruder. Then he remembered, he wasn't living alone any more. He relaxed back against his pillow and listened to Hathaway moving around the small flat.

He heard the echoed click of the bathroom light being turned on, then the muffled sound of the water, eventually followed by the flush and the rigorous groan of the system. _Damn_ , Robbie thought. _Forgot to tell him about that._ The bloody thing made a hell of a racket, probably because of its age. There was an unspoken agreement among all the residence not to flush after midnight, unless absolutely necessary.

Robbie glanced over at his alarm clock. 11:52pm. _Oh, that's alright then._

He heard the bathroom door swiftly open and close again, probably in a desperate attempt to contain the noise. Robbie smiled to himself as he watched James break the light beneath his door. He'd left the light on when he'd gone to bed, not wanting a possibly drunk James to trip over unfamiliar furniture.

There wouldn't be a kerfuffle with the sofa bed either as he'd decided to set it up for his sergeant. There was a quiet moan as the bed springs gave way beneath James's tall lanky body. Then silence.

Robbie lowered himself back onto his pillow and closed his eyes and found himself drifting off easily.

 

- **March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

Robbie was awoken the next morning to the aroma of cooking bacon, eggs and sausage. For a few minutes he lay in bed, eyes closed, sleepily convinced he'd dreamt the past decade. He could almost hear Val singing along with the radio while Lyn and Mark squabbling over the kitchen table.

Then there was the sound of something being dropped and Robbie shot up in bed, throwing back the covers and rushing from the room. The moment he yanked open the door and stepped from the room, the spell was broken. He was faced with his small flat, empty of family. Swallowing back the fresh spark of pain that always followed the illusion of past happiness, he dragged his hand through his hair and strolled around the corner into the living room, then turned to look into the kitchenette where James was on his knees, picking up the pieces of a broken plate.

The young man lifted his head and flushed. "Sorry Robbie, it slipped. I'll replace it."

Robbie looked from the Hathaway to the plate, then back. He have the man a dismissive huff and waved him off. "Don't worry about it, it's not important, lad."

James looked unconvinced.

"Lyn's got mine and Val's wedding service. That's just a cheap set I picked up from Argos." He huffed. "Toss it in the bin and forget about it."

James gave a long sigh of relief and dropped the broken pieces into a plastic bag and left it on the side. "I made breakfast."

"That wasn't necessary." Robbie grumbled, even as his stomach growled at the scent of a full English. He made himself comfortable at the breakfast counter nonetheless. Moments later James set a warm plate in front of him.

"I'm sorry about last night, I didn't intend to be out so late."

Robbie looked up from his breakfast. "You weren't that late. We've worked later." he waved off with is folk. "I should have warned you about the toilet, though. For future reference, general rule is not to flush after midnight. Unless there's an emergency."

"What constitutes an emergency?" James quizzed, grinning.

Robbie chewed, looking up at Hathaway through his lashes. "Anything the department of health and safety would shut a restaurant down for."

James chuckled into his mug of tea.

"Was the sofa okay?" Robbie asked, gesturing over to where the sofa bed had been folded away neatly. Frankly the whole room looked like it hadn't been slept in.

"Fine, thank you. - Would you mind if I grab a shower before work?"

Robbie stared at him. "You don't have to ask, this is your home too. For now."

Hathaway flushed, dropped his gaze. "It's been a long time since I've lived with someone, sorry."

"You're not the only one, and stop apologizing."

James smirked at him and nodded. "Okay." He headed for the hall, only to pause on the threshold. "Um, is there any special rules for the shower?"

Robbie narrowed his gaze at him for a second then rolled them and smiled. "No, just don't leave your dirty briefs on the floor."

"Do I look like a briefs man to you?" Hathaway challenged, brow raised.

"I've never given it a moment's thought, lad." Robbie grumbled, turned back to his breakfast.

Hathaway huffed an amused breath, which sound bizarrely to Robbie's ears like the word Shame, and headed for the bathroom, making a pit stop at the hall closet on his way.

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

Robbie looked down at the journal Gregory had given him and took a deep breath. "How was our first night?" he murmured, reading the first question out loud, then looked up at the camera, his expression tired and unimpressed. "I watched Match of the Day, drank a beer, then went to bed." he stated as if giving evidence in court. "Alone." he forcibly clarified.

He glanced towards the bedroom door, impatient to be done with this nonsense. They'd agreed to head to The Highwayman for lunch, and Robbie felt his stomach grumble impatiently. He turned back to the journal, reading quickly though the following questions. "First impressions?" he looked into the camera, rolling his eyes. "My first impression of James Hathaway..." he thought back to their first meeting. "Posh know-it-all."

There was a brief knock on the bedroom door and then it opened and James's head appeared. "Sorry, Robbie, but just got a call. Murder in Cowley."

Robbie sighed. "Bugger." he got to his feet. "I was looking forward to that pub lunch."

"It'll have to be a late dinner I'm afraid."

Robbie reached for the camera, shutting it off.

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

"How are things going?" Gregory asked, as Robbie and James settled on the couch.

"Fine." Robbie replied blandly with a shrug.

She looked between them for a couple of seconds before meeting James's gaze. "And you, James? How are you settling in?"

"Fine, Professor." He smiled, his hands folded in his lap.

"And at work?" she pressed when neither of the men elaborated.

"Nothing's changed." Robbie grumbled. "

Gregory watched them silently for a short while. "Is there anything you need to talk about? Any problems?"

The pair looked at one another then back at Gregory, James smiling while Robbie glowed. "No." they replied in unison.

Gregory bit back a laugh and jotted something on the writing pad. "Well." she got to her feet and strolled over to the desk, pulling open the drawer and retrieving a small paper bag. "Here are your fresh tapes, I'll see you again next week." she smiled brightly.

James took the bag from her as they both got to their feet.

"That's it?" Robbie asked, frowning.

Gregory laughed. "Well, if you're not having any problems, yes."

Robbie looked up at James, who was giving him that trademark smirk, then turned back to Gregory and nodded, smiling slightly. "Okay, next week then."

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

Robbie strolled out of the bedroom fixing his tie to find James sat on the sofa reading, his suit jacket draped over the arm. "What you reading?"

James didn't even look up. "Leaflet on the Kinsey Scale. I found it under the papers."

Robbie sighed. "Oh."

James turned, looking over his shoulder with a raised brow.

"Gregory gave it to me after explaining to me how I might end up with a bloke." he shrugged into his own suit jacket. "Haven't ready properly."

"No?" James grinned at Robbie and got to his feet, reaching for his own jacket.

"Didn't honestly expect to have to read the things." Robbie stated. "Surely you got them too?"

James dropped his gaze as he fussed with his collar. "No actually."

Robbie frowned at him. "No?"

"I already knew it was a possibility." he said quietly.

Robbie studied him for a few seconds, then took a breath. "Oh."

James met his gaze but said nothing, as he usually did when the conversation strayed too close to actually revealing something about his personal life.

"Well..." Robbie breathed. "You ready?"

James nodded, waving a hand for Robbie to lead the way, so he did. As they headed out both doors and down the small path towards the street, James only a step or two behind him, Robbie's mind can't help but turn over what had just been said. - Or not said, as the case maybe. If James hadn't received a set of leaflets from Gregory, did that mean James hadn't needed them? Hadn't needed to be gently walked through the apparent complexity of human sexuality.

James was a much younger man, born in the latter half of the 20th century and living now in the 21st, though you wouldn't guess it sometimes. He was more accepting of things like that than Robbie was. Though the road to acceptance had been a rough and painful one. Once again Robbie found himself remembering back to the Will McEwan case. Remembering the heart-breaking effect it had had on James. Recalling his sergeant's heated desperate confession. He'd wondered then, and after, if will hadn't just been a friend to James. If there was more to their falling out than conflicting theological ideals. He knew it had led to James's departure from the Seminary, was that because he'd realised or accepted his own sexuality?

Robbie shook his head subtly. James had dated women, at least two he knew about. Zoe Kenneth and then of course there'd been Fiona McKendrick. Neither of which had ended well, granted, but he'd seen both relationships as clear indications that James was straight. Now though he found those queries resurfacing. After all, despite four plus years working together, what did he really know about the man who was now, thanks to this ridiculous study, his husband?

He was startled out of his thoughts by his phone. Robbie blinked as he fished though his pocket for the thing, his gaze landing on James who stood on the other side of the car, his own phone pressed to his ear and a concerned look on his face. That doesn't bode well, Robbie thought as he answered his own mobile. "Lewis."

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

He hadn't ever wanted to see that broken look on James's face again, not after the McEwan case, yet there it had been as the young sergeants stumbled hurriedly out of Zelinksy's attic and down the stairs. He'd barely made it outside before his body finally rebelled, causing him to empty his stomach against the house wall.

Thankfully Innocent had insisted that James go home, of course the sergeant had put up a fight, determined to stay at question Zelinksy some more, try and get a confession out of him, but Innocent was determined. So much so, she'd _ordered_ Robbie to make sure he got there. - Still unaware that home for James for the time being was his place.

The ride home was completed in silence. James spending the whole time staring out the passenger window, his hands folded tightly in his lap. Robbie glanced over at him every few seconds. Regretfully this wasn't Robbie's first child abduction turned murder, and while it didn't get any easier, he had learnt to cope with the emotional aftermath. Sadly James would just have to find his own way though the darkness, like they all did.

They pulled up to the house and Robbie killed the engine, but neither of them rushed to leave the closed confines of the car. As if in that small space they were safe from the realities and horrors of the world. The only sound in the car was that of the distant traffic and their ragged breaths. Finally, after what felt like hours to Robbie, he reached for the door handle. "I think we could use a drink." he announced, shoving the door open. When James didn't move, Robbie bent to stare back into the car. "Come on, Lad. I've got a bottle of scotch with your name on it."

It took another few seconds before James finally reached for the handle and climbed out. Robbie breathed a sigh of relief.

With the car locked up, Robbie followed after James, who was already up the garden path and unlocking the front door. By the time he'd gotten over the threshold of both doors, James was in the bathroom. Robbie paused outside the door, shrugging off his suit jacket and listening to the run of water. He inhaled slowly, staring at the white wood, knowing or at least imagining James on the other side, staring at his own reflection while questioning the world, and likely God.

While the young man may have given up ideas of priesthood, his faith was still stronger than Robbie's had or would ever be.

Leaving James to his contemplation, Robbie headed for the kitchen. He retrieved the bottle of scotch from the top shelf, surprised to see just how full it actually was. Clearly he hadn't needed to seek solace in drink in a long while. Fetching two glasses, he carried the lot to the couch.

By the time James left the bathroom and strolled into the living room, a glass was waiting for him. Robbie was sat back against the cushions, his own cradled between his palms in his lap. He glanced up only briefly as James lowered himself down onto the sofa and reached for his scotch, downing the whole thing in one. Usually Robbie would have said something, told him to take it easy and slow down, but not tonight. Understanding and sympathy kept his lips firmly closed.

He watched James out of the corner of his eye as he refilled his glass and then settled back next to him, their shoulders a hairsbreadth from one another. They sat like that for the next couple of hours, drinking silently until James crumpled beneath the alcohol and a week of sleepless nights, his head falling back against the cushions. Robbie leant forward, grabbing the telly control, and when he sat back James's head lulled to the side, landing firmly on his left shoulder. Usually he would have jolted the lad awake and off him, but not today.

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

It was fully dark when Robbie woke, his head back against the sofa and a solid warm weight on his shoulder. He blinked back confusion as he lifted his head and turned to take in James's sleeping form. He glanced at his watch, 9:15. He couldn't believe they'd slept that long on the sofa, but then, it had been a hell of a week. As gently as he could, Robbie extracted himself from beneath James's head, a skill perfected from years of practice with Lyn and Mark. He settled a still sleeping James against one of the small cushions and straightened, biting back a moan when his back and neck protested. He stared down at James for a long few seconds before snatching up the almost empty bottle and the glasses, carrying them into the kitchen. He moved around quietly, filling James a tall glass of tap water and pouring water and Dettol into the kitchen bucket.

He set the glass within reach on the coffee table and the bucket beside James's head, then stepped back to observe the man for another few seconds before heading off to his room.

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

"Evening Robbie." Gregory smiled, her gaze flickering past him.

"James won't be coming, sorry." Robbie excuses, ready and willing to fight if necessary.

Surprisingly though, Gregory simply nods understandingly. "Of course. I fully understand. Honestly I'm surprised either of you showed up." she waved at the chair on the other side of the glass and steel desk, and Robbie lowered himself into it with a wince. "Were you hurt?" she asked with genuine concern.

Robbie smiles at her, the first genuine one he'd sent her way in weeks. "No more than usual, Pet, but thanks for asking."

"And James? If he..." she trailed off sadly, eyes flickering to the newspaper on her desk. "It say he found her."

Robbie dropped lowered his eyes of his lap and sighed. "He'll get through it." he murmured sorrowfully. He could feel Gregory's eyes on him and looked up. "He's a tough lad." he insists.

Gregory inclines her head slowly and reached for something on her desk. "Well...if he needs to talk to someone, professional, this is the number of a colleague. She specialises in PTSD."

Robbie glowers at her, then at the card. "He doesn't have PTSD." he replied sharp and angry. "And if he needs to speak to...someone, the police force have their own team of..."

"I'm sure they do." Gregory interrupts, voice firm but understanding. "But many officers I'm sure avoid seeing them for fear of it ending up in their permanent record." she green eyes challenged him to deny it, and he could. Instead he slowly reached forward and took the card. "Now, I'll also assume that you were unable to complete the week's video diary?"

Robbie slipped the card into the top pocket of his coat, then fished in another for the single small tape. "We got a couple of days down before we were too focused on the case." he held it out to her.

Gregory gave him a surprised and delighted smile. "I'm amazed you'd taken the time to do it at all. The moment I heard about what happened on the news, and seen you and James in the footage, I'd called Kirkwood. I told him not to expect anything from you for the week."

"I sure that went down like a lead balloon." Robbie huffed.

"He wasn't happy." She nodded, setting the small tape in a box on her desk. "But after I explained things, he'd grumbled but conceded."

Robbie smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Pet. Fact is for the first couple of day it helped. Taking a couple of minutes to think about something else, got my brain working again."

"Refreshed those little grey cells." she said, feigning a Belgium accent and tapping at the side of her head.

Robbie chuckled. "Something like that."

Gregory grinned and lent back in her chair, watching him. "How are things going? Living with James, working with James?"

Robbie slouched. "Like we said before, it hasn't really changed anything. Other than getting used to someone else moving around my house again after..." his lips tightened into a thin line briefly.

"I can only imagine." Gregory nodded. "So you have had any disagreements? James hasn't been leaving his wet towels over the bathroom floor? He hasn't drank all the milk or put a practically empty bottle back in the fridge?"

Robbie laughed. "James? Not likely, he's the tidy one in this relationship."

Gregory's smile widened. "Perfectly matched, you might say."

"But for one thing." Robbie grumbled.

"Ah yes."

Robbie shifted up straight in the chair and leant forward. "I... - I know you're probably not going to answer this. You're probably going to pull that doctor/patient confidentiality card..."

"Probably, but?" she interrupted curiously.

Robbie lowered his eyes to his hand for a moment, then looked the good Professor directly in the eye. "Why wasn't James given the same leaflets as me? Is he..." he cleared his throat. He really shouldn't be asking this, not of her any way, but James is such a closed book when it comes to his personal life. The only way he'd found out about Fiona was because of Laura.

"Yes?"

"Is he gay?" Robbie finished with a tired sigh, and a lead weight of guilt settling in his gut.

Gregory's lips curved only a little. "Don't you know?" she asked curiously. "You've worked together for what, four years? You seem close. Should you already know this about one another?"

Robbie slumped back, exhaling a long breath. "You'd think." he grumbled, shaking his head. "I swear, he knows practically everything about me..." which was true. He'd even been the one to remind him his Lyn's birthday was coming up when they'd been head deep in a murder case. "...but when it comes to him, nothing."

"Oh?"

Robbie looked up to see her staring at him with what seemed to be an accusing look. "It isn't for want of trying." he snapped. "James just doesn't...talk about stuff. No, that isn't right, he talks but...only when the information comes to light via someone else, and then he only tells me as little as possible."

Gregory frowned. "Do you have any idea why?"

Robbie shrugged. "I guess he just doesn't like to talk about himself."

"Do you think he has bad experiences in his past that he's trying to bury?"

Robbie opened his mouth to dismiss the possibility but found he couldn't. He shrugged. "I hope not."

Gregory chewed on her lower lip then reached for her desk drawer. "You aren't meant to get this until later in the study but I think it might do you both the world of good now." she held out two small booklets. "It's a questionnaire."

Robbie took it and flicked through the questions on the first few pages.

"It's designed to discover what you really know about one another. You fill it out separately and then bring it in to us, but... I suggest you fill it in and then compare, alone."

Robbie frowned up at her. "Won't that mess with the study?"

Gregory sighed, looking away briefly. When she looked back at him her gaze was determined. "It'll be fine. I'll give you another one at the same time as everyone else."

"Won't that be cheating?" Robbie smirked.

Gregory lifted her fingers. "Just a little bit, but I like you boy and if I can help you make your relationship work, I will."

"We're not in a relationship." Robbie stated.

"Aren't you?" she smirked, single perfect brow raised. "Okay, time is up. I'll see you both next week. Oh, here." she handed him a single fresh tape to replace the one he'd brought in. "Tell James..." she trailed off, unsure what exactly to say.

"I'll give him your best, Pet." Robbie smiled, dropping the tape in his pocket. "See you next week."

With that he headed back to his flat, stopping of at Asda on the way. He'd decided to treat James to his Spag-Bol.

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

Robbie could hear the sound of James's guitar before he even had the front door open. He closed it softly behind him, not wanting to disturb the younger man's playing. He never got to hear James play, no there'd been that one time he'd dragged Laura to one of James's recitals or concerns, or whatever you wanted to call it.

He stealthily approuched the front room and paused, watching as James, perched on the arm of the sofa, plucked at the strings while staring out the window. It was a sad melody and Robbie just knew the lad was thinking about poor Katlin Burrows.

Robbie stood just watching and listening, his lips pressed into a thin line until he began to feel like a middle aged stalker, then he cleared his throat and headed for the kitchen, setting the shopping on the counter.

"Oh, you're back?" James gasped, leaping from the couch arm. "I didn't hear the door."

"You were playing'. You're good." he nodded, unpacking the bags.

James shrugged. "You've heard be play before." he dismissed, setting the guitar against the arm of the sofa and sliding his now free hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"I know but, well I could really distinguish you're playing from the rest of the music that time. - And you were playing that ' _world_ _music_ '." he smiled. "How long have you been playing?"

"Just a few minutes." James replied matter-of-factly, taking a seat at the breakfast counter.

Robbie rolled his eyes. "I meant..."

"Oh?" James gaped. "Uh, since I was 12."

Robbie hummed. "You just picked up a guitar one day?" he pressed. He wanted to at least know something if they were going to fill out that questionnaire.

James frowned at him. "Why the sudden interest?"

Robbie froze in putting away the carrier bags and met James's gaze. "It's not sudden." he argued.

"You never asked before." James reminded him.

And he was right. It was all well and good complaining to Gregory about how he knew little to nothing about his sergeant, his friend, when he hadn't made any real effort to actually discover even the smallest details. "You're right." he sighed, stuffing the bags in the top drawer and then leaning heavily on the counter. "I should have made more effort."

James waved a hand. "It's fine. You know everything you need to know."

"Do I?" Robbie challenged. "You know all about Val and the kids. You know about Morse. You know about most of my family, and I don't even know if you have one."

James dropped his gaze, flushing scarlet. "I - I don't... - I'm not used to talking about myself." he mumbled. "Not that anyone really bothers to ask."

Robbie sighed guiltily. He reached for the papers in his pocket and tossed them on the counter in front of James. "Gregory wants use to fill these out."

James picked one up and began to flick through it. "Oh."

"We're actually getting it early."

James frowned at him. "Why?"

Robbie shrugged. "She think's it'll help with our relationship. - Oh and she..."

"Our relationship?" James repeated sharply. "What exactly did you talk about today?"

Robbie stared at him, eyes widening at James's sudden defensive tone. "Nothing. I just mentioned how I don't know much about you."

James stared at him, unconvinced. "That all?"

Robbie inhaled deeply though his nose. "I asked why you hadn't gotten those leaflets." he replied. Half-truths were better than full lies.

James straightened, his feature instantly going distance. "You mean you asked her if I was gay?" he demanded.

Robbie recognised that tone, it was the same one he'd used when he'd asked the last time. They were heading for an argument, a man can't be married for almost forty years without taking note of the warning signs.

"I thought we'd been through this after Will's death? - I thought I'd made myself clear."

"Clear? With a magazine and a chocolate bar?" Robbie scoffed, angrily shrugging out of his coat.

James began to pace the room. "I've dated woman." he countered. "Zoe. Fiona. Isn't that proof enough that I'm not gay!"

Robbie closed his eyes and sighed. It really should be, shouldn't it? And yet, somehow the question never quite went away. His eyes flickered over to the coffee table. "Doesn't mean you're straight either." he said quietly. He'd read the leaflet eventually, when Innocent had forced them to come up and rest during the case. It had left him more confused than before.

James met his accusing gaze for a second before dropping it.

"James, if you're... You know it won't change any..."

"I'm going out."

"James!" he called after the retreating young man, stepping around the kitchen counter to watch as his sergeant snatched his coat from the hanger by the door and stormed out of the flat. Robbie exhaled and flinched as the door slammed shut behind him. "Bugger."


	3. Chapter 3

Robbie stirred the sauce one final time and left it to simmer, returning to the counter and the questionnaire he'd been staring at for the past half hour. James had been gone for almost two hours now, leaving Robbie frustrated and angry at himself for forcing the issue. He'd known James was sensitive about his sexuality, most likely because of his religious values, he should have just let it be.

So why hadn't he? Why had that little question been nagging away at him for almost two years now? Because he was a detective, obviously, and much like Morse, he hated unanswered questions.

The questions in his head lead him back to the ones in the book before him. He'd gone over them a good dozen times in the last half hour and he hated the hollow feeling when he found himself silently answering most of them in the negative.

Blindly he reached for the biro and took a breath, he might as well just get it over with.

 **I can name my partner's best friend.** No. No, he couldn't. He didn't even think James had any friends. There were his band mates, but the way James spoke about them lead Robbie to believe he saw them more as acquaintances than real friends. Certainly not Best Friends.

The only best friend Robbie could put a name to was Will McEwan, but that relationship had soured after Will's revelation of his feelings for James.

 **I know the stresses my partner is currently facing.** Well, from a work perspective, yes, but from a personal life one? No.

 **I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my partner lately.** Robbie knew his name would be at the top of that list as of two hours ago. Hooper did tend to give him a hard time occasionally, but it didn't seem to bother James all that much, so Robbie hadn't said anything.

 **I can tell you some of my partner's life dreams.** No. James hadn't mentioned once where he saw himself in five or ten years. He hadn't brought up promotion or working towards becoming an Inspector, which in hindsight was odd. He remembered bringing up promotion to Morse as frequently as he could get away with, but James? Not once in almost four years. It was strange, considering his intelligence. Perhaps he didn't plan to be a copper forever.

 **I can tell you about my partner's basic philosophy of life.** Finally one he could put a Yes to. God works in mysterious ways.

 **I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.** No. Robbie grunted frustratingly. He couldn't even name James's relatives, let alone which one he liked least. He knew he had an Aunt, who from what he could gather had suffered with some debilitating decease, but he didn't know her name.

 **I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.** Regretfully, he felt the answer to that was yes. There were times when it seemed the lad could almost read his mind.

 **When we are apart, I often think fondly of my partner.** Robbie sighed, Yes, very much so.

 **I often touch or kiss my partner affectionately.** N/A, he scribbled. They weren't really those kind of partners, so he figured Gregory wouldn't mind him ignoring that questions. He didn't move on straight away though, instead staring at the question. Obviously they didn't kiss, but he couldn't deny there had been affection behind the occasional touch to James's shoulder.

 **My partner really respects me.** Well he did, Robbie wondered if he will continue to when this whole mess of a study is over.

 **There is fire and passion in this relationship.** Once again Robbie scribbled another N/A.

 **Romance is definitely still part of our relationship.** N/A.

 **My partner appreciates the things I do in this relationship.** Robbie stared at the question uncertainly. What did he do in this relationship, exactly? He brought the beers occasionally. He mocked James's religion and education. He stuck his nose into the lad's personal life, whether it was wanted or not. He sincerely doubted James appreciated any of that.

 **My partner generally likes my personality**. Robbie used to think so, but right then he wasn't sure of anything.

**Our sex life is mostly satisfying.**

The smell of burning food had Robbie's head snapping up and he was off the chair in a second, rushing over to the hob to switch it off and move the sauce pan. He gave it a stir and looked at the clock on the wall, sighing.

Snatching his mobile off the counter, he called James, fully prepared for the man not to answer. As expected it went to voicemail. Robbie exhaled, rubbing at his eyes. "I'll put your dinner in the oven then." he said sharply, then hung up, wincing at the memory of the countless times he'd received something similar from Val.

He was in the middle of dishing up when the doorbell rang and his heart leapt. Wiping his hands, he headed out to answer it. "What you do, forget your key?" he called, pulling open the door. His heart dropped at the sight of Laura stood, bottle of wine in hand, and a look of intrigued confusion on her face. "Robbie?"

"Laura?" he gapped, looking past her. "Uh, I...what are you doing here?"

Her bright smile dimmed to a hurt frown. "If I'm interrupting I'll..."

Part of Robbie's brain yelled at him to tell her it wasn't convenient, the rest of him however was stepping back from the door. "Uh, no, of course not." If James wasn't going to be there to eat the meal he'd spent the last hour preparing, he may as well share it with someone who was. "Just in time for dinner."

She stepped cautiously over the threshold. "Do you have enough?" Laura quizzed.

"James was meant to be joining me but..." he shrugged, closing the door and leading her into the flat.

He went back to the kitchen and grabbed another plate. He'd made more than enough to split three ways, especially as his appetite had soured in the last few minutes. Sipping one into the oven while talking to Laura over his shoulder. "Make yourself useful, woman, grabbed the forks and place mats." He heard her chuckle and move around next to him.

When he turned with the plates it was to find Laura not so stealthily reading his questionnaire. _Blast-it_ , he'd completely forgotten. She must have felt his eyes on her because she looked up, brow raised and a small shadow of hurt in her eyes. Robbie set the plates down on the mats and reached for the papers, shoving them into the nearest drawer. "Just some partner survey Innocent wants us to fill in." he dismissed, moving around to take a seat.

Laura stared at him, slipping onto the other chair. "Oh?" she hummed, lifting her fork and poking at the steaming spaghetti. "Funny," she added. "I've done a few office surveys in my time, none of them asked about mine and my lab assistance's sex life."

Robbie inhaled sharply, his head snapping around to stare at her wide eyed before slumping, dropping his folk and letting his head fall into his hands.

"Robbie?"

Slowly he looked up and pushed away the plate, what little desire he'd had to eat now gone. Folding his arms, Robbie leant heavily on the counter and took another breath. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Laura asked quietly, her own food forgotten.

"Lying." he replied, turning to meet her gaze. "It wasn't a survey from Innocent."

"I figured that much out myself." Laura smiled, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "So...what was it?"

Robbie rubbed nervously at his ear lope. "A relationship survey. I..." he swallowed thickly and climbed off his chair, unable to sit next to Laura while confessing the truth. "I've..." how the hell was he even meant to explain it.

"You're seeing someone." she finished for him.

"I guess, technically." Robbie dragged his hand though his hair and perched on the arm of the sofa, both hands braced on his knees. "I'm married." he announced quickly.

There was silence. He stared at the carpet, waiting for Laura to say something, anything, but not a word left her lips. Slowly, Robbie raised his gaze to find Laura staring at him, eyes wide and...hurt. _Bugger_. "I'm sorry, I should have told you."

"You don't owe me any explanations." she said tightly, her back straight. She slide off the chair and moved to leave.

Robbie leapt to his feet. "Please, let me explain. It's complicated."

She stared up at him expectantly.

"It's part of a study." he started, then shook his head. "Can we have a drink and sit down, this is going to take a while." he half expected Laura to refuse, instead strolled back to the chair at the breakfast bar and waited.

 

**< 3 <3 <3 <3 <3**

 

It took him almost an hour to explain about the experiment he'd signed up for, and why he'd choice to turn to science to find someone to possibly spend the rest of his life with rather than look right under his nose. He'd recognised the hurt in Laura's face, and had quickly tried to reassure her. It was probably one of the most uncomfortable conversations he'd ever had.

He couldn't help but wonder why he'd turned to science instead of her. It wasn't as if he hadn't known she was interested or had considered turning their longstanding friendship into something more, but for a reason he still couldn't pin point, that idea hadn't held water. The idea of them as a couple simply hadn't felt...right. They were great friends, but it never felt like more.

He wished he had the ability to form all his thoughts and feelings into a coherent explanation for her, try to make her understand, but sadly, words weren't his thing. Undoubtedly James would know some ancient philosopher who could sum it all up.

"So who is she?" Laura asked quietly, eyes glistening with unshed tears.

Robbie rubbed at his ear again. "Actually, um..."

And as if James's had been stood outside timing it to make the perfect entrance, the sound of the front door opening and closing cut him off. His head twisted in the direction of the hall and he braced himself for the shit, which was very much about to hit the fan _._ When he looked back, Laura stared at him with a look of comprehension.

She scrambled off the chair, wiping angrily at her eyes, preparing to face down Robbie's new wife, only for her shoulders to sag in relief when instead of some stranger, James appeared around the corner. "James?"

"Dr Hobson?" James gasped, looking between her and Robbie, then past them to the untouched dinner and the bottle of wine. "Oh, I..." he flushed. "I'm so..."

Robbie exhaled tiredly. "Laura just popped by for a drink."

"I'll leave you to it then." James said harshly, turning to leave.

"Have you told him?" she demanded, glowering at Robbie.

"Told me what?" James frowned, looking between them.

"James knows all about it." Robbie grumbled, getting up and walking around the counter to clean away the plates.

"Oh?" Laura whispered, that hurt in her tone again. "Well, I suppose that's understandable, he's your sergeant. He'll need to know who to call if anything were to happen."

"What's going on?" James demanded, shooting Robbie a concerned look.

Robbie exhaled, leaving the plates beside the sink and turning to face the pair. He leant back on the counter, hands braced behind him. "Laura, the reason James knows is..." he spared the young man an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, lad, I have to tell her."

James stiffened, his back straight and his gaze fixed to a place on the far wall, as if he were on parade.

"Laura, I haven't married some stranger woman."

She looked at him, curious. "What? You said..."

"As it turned out, they matched me with someone I already knew."

Laura continued to stare at him, dumbfounded and confuse, then slowly raised her gaze to James, who was still not looking at her. Robbie watched as she scanned the room, taking in the polished black shoes sat in the corner by the TV, at least two sizes bigger than Robbie's. The grey RUN DMC T-shirt resting over the radiator to dry. The guitar sitting against the sofa waiting patiently for its owner.

"Oh my god." she muttered, eyes instantly shooting up at James. "You?"

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

Thirty minutes later Laura left, having listened to them explain the whole sorry mess. Or more accurately he'd explained the mess while James as sat on the armchair silently staring at the blank TV screen with a face of stone.

Robbie didn't know how Laura was really taking it, it didn't look like it had really sank in yet, but they'd at least been able to convince her not to say a word to Innocent.

 _"After all, it's not like it's a real marriage."_ Robbie had insisted. _"In just over five months, we'll file for an annulment and go back to normal."_

Robbie strolled back into the living room to find James still sat like a statue in the chair. "I had to tell her." he sighed. "She's one of me oldest friends. - Besides, she saw the questionnaire Gregory gave me and there was no explaining away some of them questions."

James finally looked at him, his face blank. "It's fine."

Robbie held his gaze for a few seconds, then sighed. "Your dinner's probably ruined."

"I'm sorry." James muttered. "I didn't plan to be out so long."

"So where'd you go?"

James looked down at his lap. "I went for a walk." he replied evenly. "Then bumped into Professor Rutherford and we went for a drink."

"Rutherford?" Robbie frowned.

"From the Marina Hartner case."

"Oh." Robbie huffed. "And you didn't get my messages?"

James fished his mobile out of his pocket and stared at it. "Battery must have gone. Sorry."

Robbie lowered himself down on the couch. It had been so long since he'd had to deal with the aftermath of a domestic argument, he was out of practice. "I'm sorry okay." he sighed. "I shouldn't have spoken to Gregory about you, and I shouldn't have pried."

"But you're still curious, aren't you? You're still wondering?" James quizzed, fixing his gaze on Robbie.

Robbie tilted his head apologetically. "I..."

James shoved himself out of the chair and marched over to the kitchen cupboard. Retrieving the whiskey bottle, he poured what was left into a glass and downed it. Robbie watched him as he leant on the counter and breathed heavily. The room filled with a thick, choking tension.

"James?"

"I'm not gay." James breathed, straightening finally and turning to face Robbie, with a resigned tired look on his face. "I'm not straight either."

Robbie swallowed and nodded. "Alright. That's alright, Lad." he insisted.

"Is it?" James scoffed, slipping his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. He rested his body back against the kitchen counter and crossed his legs at the ankles, staring down at his feet. "It wasn't okay with me." he whispered, sighing. "For a long time, I... I was so confused. It's hard enough turning away from the temptation of woman, but it's made easier when you're locked away from them in a seminary." he huffed a self-deprecating laugh. "Not so easy when the temptation comes from men too."

Robbie nodded, understandingly.

"I thought it was another test of my faith." he shook his head.

"Did you pass?" Robbie asked with a light tone.

James met his gaze and chuckled. "Admirably." his lip curved. "Then Will came to me." he continued, sobering. "...and you know the rest. Seeing what the garden did to him, what my faith... I began to question everything, everything I was so sure of. Not just about Will but about myself. My feelings."

Robbie inhaled slowly, rubbing at his neck. "Why didn't y'just tell me, Lad? After what happened, why...?" he waved his hand blindly. "Hadn't I proven I'd understand? Did I give you any reason to think I'd treat you differently? That I'd care?"

James closed his eyes and let his head fall forwards, his chin resting on his chest. "No." he whispered.

"No." Robbie huffed angrily.

There was a long silence before James spoke again. "I had my reason." he said quietly. "Things I've been struggling with for years, sir..."

"Robbie." Lewis corrected.

"Sorry." James sighed warily, lifting his head to look at Robbie with pleading eyes. "Its not... It's not that I don't trust you, _Robbie_. I'm just not, _wasn't_ ready to..."

"Come out." Robbie muttered, dropping his gaze guiltily.

"Be open about it."

Robbie stared at the carpet, guilt clawing at his gut. He couldn't believe he'd pushed James into revealing something so personal, and why? To satisfy his own curiosity. What did his sergeants sexual preferences really matter to him? It had no bearing on their working relationship, and as for their friendship? He wasn't even sure they'd ever truly had one.

Robbie looked up, meeting James's gaze and smiling apologetically. "I'm sorry Lad. I shouldn't have pried. You're right, it's none of my business, and I promise I'll keep my nose out of your personal life from now on."

"Sir, Robbie that isn't." James said urgently, pushing himself away from the counter. "I appreciate your concern, and that you actually care enough to want to know." he said, almost desperately. "No one else even bothers to try."

"I'm sure that's not true, lad."

James shook his head. "Believe me it is." he murmured. "You're the only friend I have, Robbie. It's why I couldn't...tell you."

"But I wouldn't have... I _don't_..."

James shrugged, lip curving down at the corner. "That's the thing about fear, most of the time it's irrational. Just the smallest chance you'd...reject me was enough to keep me silent."

Robbie stared at him, watching the way James seemed to curl in on himself the way he did when confronted with an uncomfortable situation. Getting to his feet he marched over to the young man, gripping his bicep in a firm by gentle hold. "Listen to me, I consider you a friend. I'd daresay my best friend."

James looked at him sceptically.

"I mean it. So as your friend, I want you to know, I don't care who you date. Man, woman, wild goose."

James laughed.

"Okay that's a lie, we may have to have words if you decided to shake up with a Liverpool supporter."

The corner of James's mouth quirked. "Hardly." he wrinkled his nose.

Robbie chuckled. "I do however, want to know more about you. It's not right that you know practically everything about me, and I don't even know your father's name."

"I don't know everything about you." James insisted.

"Oh really? You know my birthday?"

"Everyone knows your birthday."

"You know the names of my kids."

James rolled his eyes. "Again, so does everyone. The barman at the Highwayman knows your kids names."

"Neither he nor anyone knows _their_ birthdays."

"I'm sure Doctor Hobson does."

"Only because she was around when Mark was born." Robbie countered. "The point is, if we're going to be friends, not just colleagues, I want to know about your life. - _But_ , only what you're willing or ready to tell me."

James stared down at him silently for a few seconds, then his eyes shifted to where Robbie's hand was still resting against his bicep. Robbie fought not to rip his hand away, fearing it would give James the wrong impression, instead he gave it a gentle squeeze and slowly let go.

"How about we call for a take away?"

James smiled. "Sounds good."

Robbie turned to grab the phone and rummage through the drawer for the menus, tossing the papers he'd hidden from Laura on the kitchen counter. Behind him James fetched them both a beer and headed for the couch. "Indian or Chinese?" Robbie asked, holding up the menus.

"Indian?"

Robbie nodded and made the call. "Usual?" with James assent he placed their regular order and went to join him on the sofa. "Thirty minutes."

James sipped at his beer when murmured. "Philip and Alice."

"What?" Robbie frowned, looked at the lad.

"My father, his name is Philip and my mother was Alice."

Robbie smiled, nodding gratefully.

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

Robbie found they'd settled into a rather easy routine over the next couple of month. Laura had kept her promise not to say anything, and after a few weeks of awkwardness and distance, she'd slowly come to terms with the situation, and the reality that Robbie and her were never going to be more than friends. Knowing that seemed to have freed her as much as it had Robbie.

As for James, he began to open up about himself a bit more. Robbie now knew he had a sister named Nell and his mother had sadly died 8 years ago. He and his father weren't close, according to James, never quite reading from the same hymn sheet, apparently. Robbie couldn't help but wonder if that had anything to do with James's reluctance to talk about his sexuality. James had opened up further about his past and his family after the disastrous investigation at Crevecoeur, which Robbie could easily files away under worst weeks of his life.

It hadn't solely been down to the fact he and James had continuously butted heads over the case, which had led to him forcibly removing James from the investigation. If he were honest, suspending James hadn't just been about compromising the investigation by fraternising with a suspect, but rather that he'd done it behind his back. That he'd looked him in the eye and lied to his face, and that had hurt. More than it probably should.

If wasn't that he begrudged James a personal life, despite their current circumstances. It wasn't like they were a real couple, but he'd imagined that James would be holding to their marriage vows, no matter how temporary, or meaningless, for the duration of their time together. Realising James wasn't had left him inexplicably...jealous.

Saying that, Robbie hadn't wanted it to fall apart for the lad. If Scarlett Mortmaigne had turned out to be sincere and had make James happy in the end, Robbie would have been made up for him. Truly, he would.

In the end Robbie had walked away from that case questioning himself more than anything else. He found himself thinking a lot about James and why the situation with Scarlet had gotten to him, and no matter how much he tried to convince himself it was out of concern for James's career or the case, he couldn't shake the idea that it was much more personal.

So he did the only logical thing he could think to do, he read those damn leaflet. Growing up when homosexuality was barely legal in a rough working class area of Newcastle, all he'd ever been taught was straight is normal, queer is not. He hadn't even known there was a middle ground until a couple of decades ago. Now though, according to these Kinsey, Storm and Klein blokes, sexuality wasn't as simple as he'd thought. It wasn't simply down to liking blokes or lass', people could like both to varying degrees. No wonder James was confused, as was he.

"How are things going?" Professor Gregory asked brightly three weeks after the Mortmaigne case closed down.

"Fine." James shrugged lazily, unconsciously rubbing at his arm. The wound hadn't been too serious, not permanent damage, but it was still tender and a couple of times Robbie had caught James throwing back two Aspirin.

"Are you sure?" she looked between them. "You seem a little...distant with one another."

Robbie frowned and looked at James, who looked at him with equal confusion. When they turned back to Gregory, she had a brow raised and was jotting something down on a pad.

"We're fine." Robbie reassured, smiling.

"No changes in your relationship?" she asked, not looking up from her paper.

"No." they replied together.

Gregory hummed thoughtfully and Robbie shifted a little as he searching gaze turned to him. "Okay then." she smiled. "You know, you boys are probably my easiest couple, everyone else is stressing out left and right over one thing or another, but not you. Mostly because you're not taking this as seriously."

 

**-March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle-**

 

"Hoped I'd never have to wear this blasted get up again." Robbie grumbled, strolling out of the bedroom fussing with his bow tie. "So much for informal." he scoffed.

James looked up from tying his shoes. "In Oxford, this is informal."

"Yeah." Robbie huffed, watching James straightened and reach for his jacket. "We could always call and say that work came up?"

Robbie seriously considered it for a few seconds, then shook his head. "Nah. Gregory's been a good lass. I have a feeling Kirkwood wouldn't have let us just get on with it if he'd been in charge of our..." he waved between them.

James pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded. "Probably not. He strikes me as the type to push his research subjects to breaking point."

Robbie huffed an agreement, reaching for the jacket draped over the arm the couch. "Well let's get this over with. If we're luckily we'll get called away."

James smiled subtly. "After you, darling."

Robbie stared up at James, his heart racing a little. It was a joke, he knew it was a joke. Yet for some reason he wasn't sure he wanted to look too closely at in the moment, his heart was racing and he felt a warm glow of happiness. A glow he hadn't felt as strongly since Val.

"Robbie?" James said, pulling him from his thoughts. "I didn't mean..."

"Don't fret, lad...just running the check list in my head. Cooker's off, yeah?"

James relaxed, shoulders slumping. "Yes, as is the central heating."

"Good. Okay, let's get this over with."

Robbie tried and failed not to think about his reaction to James's words the whole drive.

 

** <3<3<3<3<3**

 

It was another of those posh college do that Robbie had grown to hate over the last few years. While serving under Morse and Chief Superintendent Strange the only black tie events he'd been forced to attend were award dinners. Now it's seemed every other month Innocent was dragging him off to some Oxford bash. This was the first one he'd been to that had nothing to do with his job.

Robbie tugged at the collar of his shirt and let his gaze flicker over the multitude of bodies gathered in the dim foyer. A waiter swanned past James's shoulder and he snagged to glasses of orange juice. Regretfully they were still on rotation, which meant they could be called away at any moment, so drinking was out of the question. Robbie took the glass and glowered at it for a moment. "Thanks." he grumbled, taking a sip, and wishing it was something stronger. Something far, far stronger.

"We could still slip out?" James whispered, leaning closer.

"Don't tempt me." Robbie replied, voice low and tense. James clearly noticed the strain in his tone because he was staring, Robbie could feel his gaze burning into his cheek. He could feel it growing warm under the scrutiny. Lifting his glass to his lips he took a long slow sip of the orange juice and prayed the young man would find something else to stare at.

All he'd been able to think about on the drive over was James calling him darling and how weird it had felt. Weird because it hadn't been unpleasant nor uncomfortable. He hadn't want to remind James that he wasn't gay. Because in the last few months he'd been thinking, and feeling ...guilty.

Of course he'd felt guilty every day since Val's death. He was alive and she wasn't, but this was a different kind of guilt. He couldn't say exactly how long he'd felt it, it seemed as if it was always there, just below the surface. He'd brushed off as a side effect of being back in England, back in Oxford. However over the last few weeks it had been more difficult to ignore.

He was saved from any further self-analysis but the cheerful welcoming voice of Professors Gregory. He blinked and focused on the young academic marching towards them.

"James. Robbie." She grinned, reaching up to hug each other them. "So glad you could make it."

"We could be called away at any moment." Robbie informed her, trying to sound apologetic.

"Well until then..." She looked between them. "I'm really putting you boys though the ringer aren't eye? I'm sorry."

"It's fine." James reassured with a smile. "We could have just been sat at home, Robbie forcing me to watch last night's Newcastle United match."

"Hey." Robbie scolded, glowering up at the younger man. "There wasn't a match last night, and I don't force you to watch with me, you choose to stay." And he had, countless times over the past few years James had lingering at his place, watching football. Frankly Robbie wasn't even sure he liked football. His glower softened to a look of confusion. Why did he do that?

Gregory cleared her throat, grinning at them. "Come along, I want to introduce you to some of your fellow Guinea pigs."

Robbie and James shared a look of weary resignation and followed reluctantly behind Gregory as she led them further into the party and away from the escape. Robbie scanned the crowd as he passed through it, keeping a well trained professional eye on each face. It was a habit picked up from years on the job. A glance up at James told him the man had the same idea. Of course most of them he could distinguish on sight as Oxford academic, but there were a few regular looking people.

Gregory finally drew to a halt in front of two such and turned partially to address them. "Robert, James, meet Olivia and Rupert."

"Allo." Robbie nodded stiffly.

James's smile was a little warmer. "Nice to meet you."

The pair returned the greetings in the same awkward but friendly manner and then stood silently besides one another. Robbie gave them a once over. Olivia looked to be in her late 30s. Tall and slim, her dark skin standing out against the sapphire dress that clung to her shapely curves. She was attractive, her black hair cut short and close to her scalp. Rupert on the other hand was pale, tall and with a build that matched Robbie's own. He was probably in his middle to late 40s. He was dressed in a plain black tux, so Robbie could really get an idea of his profession or class.

He couldn't help but notice the gap between them, wider than you'd expect for a couple. The thought had him turning too looked at James and registered that they were stood surprisingly close.

"I'll leave you all to get to know each other." Gregory said cheerfully and Robbie wondered if maybe she'd indulged a little too much already. She breezed past James, who turned to watch her go for a long moment before turning back with a wide grin.

"Most definitely had a skin full." He scoffed, looking directly at Robbie as if confirming his unspoken query.

Robbie shrugged and chuckled. "They're all the same." He grumbled. "Free bar and they're leg less in an hour."

James laughed.

"They?" A sharp tone quizzed.

Robbie turned back to see Olivia glowering at him with a raised brow. "Posh Oxford lot."

The pair stared at him, unimpressed.

James cleared his throat but Robbie could hear the amusement in his ton when he spoke. "So what do you both do?"

The woman torn her scolding gaze from Robbie and fixed it on James. "I'm studying for my doctorate in biochemistry."

"Oh." James nodded. "And you Rupert?"

The man replied, removing his glasses and tugging a handkerchief from his top pocket to clean them. "I'm a professor. Pagan religious culture and practises."

Robbie could see James pressing his lips together in that way he did when fighting a laugh, and turning his head into Robbie's shoulder. Robbie felt his heartbeat pick up a little.

"And what do you both do?" Olivia asked, her tone cold and tired. Frankly Robbie couldn't imagine what the study had found about these two people that made them the perfect couple, they seemed like complete opposites.

"Detective Inspector."

"Detective Sergeant" the replied simultaneously.

Olivia and Rupert's eyes widened in surprise, looking between them for a long moment. An uncomfortable silence fell between them before Olivia made a flimsy excuse and excused herself, leaving her husband with Robbie and James until he got up enough courage to leave too.

James huffed out a laugh and turned his back on the now empty space. "I can't see them lasting."

Robbie shook his head in agreement. "Na way, she's too bossy for him like."

James's lip curved teasingly. "Some people liked to be bossed around."

Robbie stared up at him, surprised. He lifted his glass and emptied it in three gulps.

"Thirst?" James asked cheerfully.

"Aye." He turned in the direction of the bar. "You want another?"

James looked down at his still half full glass. "Yes, thank you."

Robbie hurried off to the free bar, desperate to escape James's warm amused smile and shining eyes. Ordering two fresh glasses of orange juice Robbie leant his elbows on the bar and buried his head in his hands. What the hell was going on with him? He felt like he was losing his mind.


	4. Chapter 4

Any hopes Robbie had for ignoring whatever it was that had gotten into him over the course of the night went out the window each time James made a joke or held back a grin. Robbie spent more time paying attention to James than he did to the other participants they met.

After an hour of awkward meet and greets, Robbie was praying for a call out, and his prayers were once again granted, only not in the way he intended, when a loud horrified scream ripped through the hall. He and James took off towards it and found Gregory in one of the offices standing over the bloody corpse of Kirkwood.

 

**_March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

All hopes of keeping their marriage a secret died with Kirkwood. Being too close to the victim and the suspects meant Robbie was forced to call in another DI to investigate, which lead to the obvious questions and the unavoidable revelations.

"You know Innocent's going to demand answers in the morning?" James said as they stepped back into the flat, shrugging out of his jacket.

Robbie had already stripped out of his before climbing in the cab and tossed it over the back of the armchair on his way to the fridge. The deserved a beer after the humiliation they'd just gone through. It wasn't that Hooper had said anything directly but you could see the mixture of amusement and discomfort in his eyes. "Aye, and I know what she'll say too."

"Yeah." James sighed, head rolling back tiredly against the couch.

Robbie held out at bottle to him as he stepped over James's long legs and took a seat next to the younger man.

"Regulations." James muttered, lifting the bottle to his lips.

"Aye. We're in for a bollocking."

They slumped on the sofa and stared at the blank TV screen, drinking silently for a few minutes before James broke the silence with a question. "So who do you think killed Kirkwood?"

It was only when he shrugged that Robbie became aware of just how close he was sitting to James, but he didn't much care right then. "The man was a wanker, it could be anyone who'd ever met him."

James laughed. "Gregory?" He asked, instantly sobering.

Robbie sighed and rubbed his eyes. "I hope not."

Silence settled between them once more. A much more comfortable silence than they'd shared over the past few weeks. The kind of silence they used to be able to sit in happily.

When Robbie finished his beer he leant forward, setting the empty bottle on the coffee table. "Well, I'll let you get some sleep." he turned his head, smiling at James. The look that met him was one of restraint and confusion. James's gaze flickered from Robbie's face to his hand, which he'd unconsciously set on the younger man's thigh. Robbie swallowed but was unable to retrieve his hand, it was practically glued in place. He lifted his gaze to find James staring into his eyes once more, a silent question, or perhaps it was a plea.

"She's going to split us up, you know that?" James whispered finally, his voice strained.

He wanted to deny it, wanted to reassure James that their partnership was solid, but he knew he couldn't. As much as Innocent allowed them to get away with a lot, the fact that their 'marriage' would be around the station by morning would undoubtedly force her hand. Regulations were more important to their Chief Super than anything.

"So I'll be leaving the force." James added, his eyes fixed on Robbie's hand.

Robbie's eyes widened and his hand was finally able to move, he leant back in surprise, as if James's words were a slap in the face. "What?"

James slumped back exhaling a long breath, eyes moving to fixate on his own half full beer bottle. "I told you before, I don't want to still be doing this at fifty."

Robbie shook his head. "I thought you were just mad about..."

"I was considering leaving when we met."

"What?" Robbie frowned.

"I don't fit in, you know I don't. You're the only person that understands me, and even you struggle at times." James huffed a brittle laugh. "Why do you think I asked to be your sergeant? Even when I drive you up the wall, you at least respected my opinions."

"I'm not the only DI that'll see you're smartass-ness as an asset." Robbie argued.

"Maybe, but..." James sighed, leaning forward. "I'm tired of hiding."

Robbie stared at him confused. "Hiding?" his heart pounding in his chest.

James set his bottle down and rubbed at his eyes before turning to meet Robbie's. "You think it's just a coincidence that I chose two professions that allowed me to ignore who I was. - After leaving the church I could have gone back to Cambridge or continued my education here in Oxford, but instead I joined the police force, have you ever wondered why? Because I have, endlessly."

"Because you want to help people." Robbie insisted, his hand instantly going to James's shoulder. "That's why you wanted to be a priest and when that didn't work out, you turned to the force. That's not hiding."

James gave him a long tired look.

"James?"

"I went from one homophobic environment to another so I wouldn't have to deal with my...sexuality, - because I was afraid of what it meant!" he shoved himself off the sofa and putting as much space between them as possible. "The only time I've been happy in the last ten years is with you."

Robbie's heart clenched tightly and he dragged his tongue over his suddenly too dry lips. "You don't have to be afraid, James. The force isn't as bad as it was. We've got three openly gay officers at the station. Chambers, Palace and Radawski? They don't get a hard time."

James looked at him unimpressed. "You don't think so, sir?" Robbie winced at the title. "You don't hear what's said behind their backs, and neither do they." James scoffed. He paused, staring at the bookshelf and the last family picture Robbie had. "I was just coming to terms with it all when this happened!" James muttered finally, dragging a finger across the woods frame. "I thought if I found someone, _anyone_ , I'd be able to..." he dragged a hand through his hair.

"Able to what?" Robbie pressed cautiously.

James fell silent, his shoulders slumping. He shook his head. "Nothing, just forget I... I'm just tired and I've drank too much."

"You've had one beer all night." Robbie argued.

"Actually I made use of the free bar after we called in DI Russell." James confessed. "I'm just going to grab a quick shower and then turn in, if that's okay with you?" he turned, marching determinedly from the room.

Robbie got to his feet, moments away from stopping him, wanting to finish the conversation, but didn't. "Okay." he nodded.

Alone in the living room, Robbie lowered himself back to the sofa and stared thoughtfully down at his shoes. He tried to imagine not having James as his sergeant and couldn't. He couldn't imagine not having James in his life full stop. The lad had become such an important part of it over the past three years.

More important than Robbie had even realised.

 

**_March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

Robbie barely slept, the worry of never seeing the young man who'd been by his side these three years like a terrifying spectre haunting the darkness.

It was hard to imagine a future without the man who'd stayed with him till near dawn, sorting through endless papers in hopes of finding a clue to Val's killer. Despite knowing fully well it was a wild goose chase. The man who'd eventually brought that killer to justice and then supported him through the trial and verdict. James had been practically the centre of his world since the day they'd met, closer than he and Morse had ever been. In ways he couldn't even imagine sharing with his old boss.

To Robbie, Morse was an uncle, he cared about him, loved him and mourned his death with the same pain he'd felt at he lost of any family member.

James on the other hand, - James defied definition.

The idea of losing that, losing _him_ , was unthinkable and left a hole in him he hadn't felt since losing his wife. Sure they could remain friends, hopefully. They could meet up for drinks and dinner, spend Saturdays watching the football, but that didn't quite seem...enough now.

He doubted he'd be able to change James's mind about quitting. Robbie had seen it coming in all honesty, the Zelinksy case had really shaken and disturbed him, and while Robbie had brushed off Laura's concern he'd known it had effected James deeply, even before their blow up. So it had really just been a matter of time, he'd just hoped James would hold on until his retirement.

By the time his alarm went off he'd had a little over an hour's sleep. He dragged himself out of bed reluctantly and padded over to the bathroom. It wasn't until he was on his way back to his room to dress that he realised there was no sign of James. No scent of cooking bacon or toast, or coffee hanging in the air. He paused and poked his head into the living and found the bed folded away and James's shoes missing from their place beside the telly. Robbie frowned, James couldn't have been gone more than an hour or he'd have heard the door.

Heading back to his room, Robbie snagged his mobile off the bedside cabinet and called, listening as it rang and rang. He half expected James not to answer by the fifth ring but finally there was the familiar low rumble of James voice and Robbie released the breath he'd been holding.

"Robbie?" James greeted tightly.

"Where are you?" Robbie demanded, harsher than he intended.

James was silent for a moment. "I'm just coming along the road."

Robbie exhaled. "Alright." With that he hung up and began to dress. A minute or two later he heard the familiar sound of the front door and went out of meet James, who was stood in his suit holding two paper cups and a small bag.

"I went to grab breakfast..." James informed flatly, "...and get some air. I really wasn't in the mood for Corn Flakes or to cook."

Robbie left his tie hanging about his neck and took one off the cups. "Thanks."

James nodded, stepping past him into the living room where he deposited both his cup and the bag on the counter then reached into the back pocket of his trousers. "I think our hopes of Innocent being understanding about the whole thing just flew out the window." He held up the newspaper and Robbie's stomach dropped.

**Crimes and Matrimony. Oxford's finest embroiled in gay marriage scandal.**

Robbie groaned, taking the paper and sitting on the arm of the couch. A quick scan of the actual article proved a lot less scandalous than the headline would suggest. However it was certainly enough to have Innocent pulling her hair out.

"I don't know how they found out." James muttered apologetically.

"Could have been anyone from the do last night." Robbie shrugged. "Or one of the uniforms."

James played aimlessly with his cup, turning it in circles while he thoughtfully stared at it. "Looks like I'll be taking that job at the university."

Robbie looked up instantly, the paper forgotten. "What?"

James met his gaze. "I've been talking to a Professor Pinnock, at St Gerard's Hall. I met her through Professor Rutherford. She mentioned a junior research fellowship."

"When?" Robbie frowned.

"A few weeks ago." James shrugged.

"So you've been planning to quit for weeks?" Robbie accused.

James straightened. "I wasn't planning anything." He defended. "I was just...considering my options."

"Where you ever going to mention it or was I going to walk into work one morning and find you gone?"

James relaxed once more. "Of course not, you'd have found out when you woke up to find me lazing in bed." He laughed.

Robbie sighed, smiling regretfully. "St Gerard's Hall? That's where all those monks live, right?"

"Friars, not monks." James corrected.

Robbie shook his head with a laugh. "Okay, enlighten me."

"Monks stay in and chant a lot, and Friars get out and about."

"I..." Robbie met his gaze. "I thought you were done running?" He asked cautiously.

James silent watch him for a few seconds before answering. "I'm not going to be a friar, I'll be a research assistant. I'm not going back to the church." He said reassuringly. "I'll simply be using what I already know, without the ties binding me."

"So they're not going to have a problem with this." He held up his left hand, waving the ring.

James sobered. "Probably." He murmured, "But I meant what I said last night. I'm not taking this job, assuming I get it, as an escape but rather because I miss that part of my life. - And there's every possibility that the study will be closed down, so we can get that annulment, so it won't even be an issue." he smiled tightly.

They sat gazing at each other in silence until it began to feel awkward for them both. Robbie cleared his throat and got to his feet, tossing the paper on the sofa and fixing his tie. "Well I guess we should go face the music."

James nodded. "Once more onto the breech and all that." He drained his cup and carried it to the rubbish bin. "What you fancy for dinner tonight?"

"I think we'll deserve a curry, what you say?"

"Absolutely."

 

**_March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

Robbie didn't know what was worse, arriving at the station and finding their office decorated with a just married sign and confetti covering their desks or the ten minute bollocking Innocent gave them over not informing her of their situation. Robbie had tried to defend their decision, told her about the contract that according to Hathaway's barrister friend was unbreakable, but nothing they said was sufficient.

Innocent didn't fall silent until James straightened his back and announces that he was resigning. Then it was only for a couple of stunned minuets. "James, you can't be serious?" she eventually demanded. "I know you two make an excellent team and under other circumstances I wouldn't dream of separating you, but..."

"I am serious ma'am. I've been considering it for a while now, as Robbie... _Inspector Lewis_ , can attest. I've been struggling since before I was assigned to him but we made such a good team that I decided to soldier on, ma'am, but I can't do it anymore, especially not under another superior officer."

Innocent stared at him bewildered. "If you're trying to get me to..."

"I'm not ma'am, I swear." James insisted strongly.

"He's not ma'am." Robbie confirmed, "He's already been looking at a college position."

"This whole thing ma'am has simply...forced my hand sooner than I expected."

Innocent leant back on the table and sighed, shaking her head. "Well I'll be sorry to lose you James, I really will."

"I'll be sorry to go ma'am." James inclined his head regretfully.

"Are you leaving too?" She asked, turning expectant and accusing eyes on Robbie.

Robbie looked between the Chief Super and James. "Not quite yet, ma'am. I've still got another year and a half before I can take early retirement."

"Well that's a small mercy I suppose." Pushing herself off the desk's edge, innocent walked around to take her seat. "I'll expect a letter of notice on my..."

James interrupted her by pulling a letter from the inside pocket of his jacket, laying it on top of a pile of files.

Innocent looked at the envelope sadly. "In that case," she looked up at them. "I'll let you serve out your notice together."

The pair looked at one another, surprised. "Uh, thank you ma'am." They said in unison.

"Alright, get out."

 

**_March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

Innocent's decision should have been a relief, but it seemed to weigh down on them both. The rest of their morning was spent practically suffocating, not only from the knowledge that it was their last two weeks as partners, but also being under their colleagues' watchful gaze. Robbie had considered closing the blinds at least three times, desperate to escape the looks coming their way every few minutes. Only that wouldn't help, it would just make matters worse. He could just imagine what they'd been saying and think.

He glanced over to James, as the thought of their assumptions took hold. They would probably be pressing an ear up against the glass trying to hear one or another's passionate moans. As if either of them were stupid enough to have sex in the office.

Robbie swallowed and watched James work diligently, his head bowed over a stake of papers, only looking up to check something on his computer. He found himself taking note of the way the light shaded his cheekbones, the fullness of the younger man's lower lips and the length of his fingers as he scratched at his collar, which brought the smooth long neck to Robbie's attention.

Out of nowhere, Robbie's mind was back in that damn changing room at the local sports centre, sweat slicking both their bodies after a rigorous squash game that had left Robbie's back screaming in pain. He'd been in too much agony to really pay any close attention to James at the time, or himself for that matter. He'd put up only the midlist of fights when the younger officer insisted on helping him change.

As James's long fingers had wrapped around the hem of his sweat dampened polo shirt, dragging it up his body. The younger man towering over him, a bead of sweat rolling down his perfectly chiselled cheek, the strong scent of musk that Robbie had grown so used to over the years.

Robbie had insisted he could do the rest himself when James had reached for his shorts, slapping his hands away and turning his back on him. James had muttered an apology, turned bright red and then rushed off to the showers. It was only in hindsight now, with a clear head, that Robbie could remember the warmth, no... _heat_ , in James's eyes during that whole encounter. The way the younger man's hands trembled slightly when they accidentally brushed his skin.

He only _now_ remembered the spark of electricity that shot through him at that brief touch. The way his heart had raced and his body warmed, as it was now. He'd brushed it all off, put it down to the excise. Perhaps it was. Perhaps he was simply losing his mind and putting significance to things that were perfectly innocent.

Or perhaps...

He'd never felt like this with any of his other sergeants, or even any of his superiors. He'd never felt the excitement of seeing anyone, the way he did with James every day, nor had he been so angry at being excluded from anyone's life.

When he'd seen Laura out with men, he'd felt jealous, whereas when he'd discovered James had been seeing Fiona, he'd been...hurt, angry and dare he say heartbroken.

When he seen Zoe's flat on fire, and rushed into her bedroom to find James barely conscious on her bed, he been so filled with panic, and fear. The only time he'd felt that way before was when there'd been complications with Lynn's birth and he'd thought he'd not only lose his daughter but his wife too.

In fact the only time he'd felt anything close to his feelings surrounding James, was when he'd met Val. - And that was _terrifying_.

Surely fifty-eight was too damn old to be having some kind of surreal identity crisis. Robbie rubbed at his eyes, what he was feeling couldn't be real. It was just stress, a weird side effect of being around James more than he was used to.

"Sir?"

Robbie's head snapped around to find James staring at him, a look of concern on his face. "What?"

"Do you have the file on the Fernley case?" James asked respectfully, but Robbie could hear the irritation in his tone.

Searching the pile on his desk, he moved to get to his feet and paused, looking down at his lap. Shit. He thought as the indiscrete swell in his pants. Clearing his throat, he looked up to see James watching him expectantly. Robbie waved the file at the sergeant.

James got to his feet and padded over to him, his features blank which meant he was even more annoyed now than he'd been five seconds ago. Robbie clenched his jaw and waited for the sergeant to take the file before twisting his chair and pulling himself further under his desk. He kept an eye on James, as the younger man retook his seat and went back to focusing on his work.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, and with his back to the large window, Robbie slid his hand under the desk and adjusted himself. A wave of embarrassment flooded his system. He hadn't gotten hard at work since he was a sergeant himself. What the hell was wrong with him?

He glanced over at James briefly, then to the door. There was no way he'd be able to get up and leave without drawing the attention of his sergeant/husband, not to mention every officer currently hovering around the outer office watching them like they were bloody Coronation Street. He could maybe send James for coffee and then close the office door, relieve the pressure maybe.

 _What?_ Was he seriously considering wanking off in the office? During the day? Robbie dragged his fingers through his hair and leant heavily on the desk, closing his eyes and cursing his life.

"Robbie?"

He looked up, mouth open to scold James for using his name at work, only to find James's gaze flickering from him to the office door. Robbie turned his head to find, Laura stood, her blue eyes filled with concern. "Oh, hi."

"Are you alright? You don't look well."

He wasn't. He wasn't well at all. "Uh..." his eyes flickered to James for a brief moment, then back to Laura. "...fine. Just...tired." he smiled tightly. "Long night."

Laura looked between them and nodded. "I heard." she had that disappointed tone again, and Robbie hated himself a little more. "I dropped by to see if you wanted to grab lunch." she asked eventually. "If James can spare you?"

Oh god she was a life saver. "Sounds lovely." he grinned, only to frown when he realised he wasn't any better off. He still had to get out of the office without anyone noticing, only now he had the extra stress of Laura.

That thought did the job. He looked down at his lap as he turned the chair to get up and sighed a relieved breath when he found the swell in his pants had died. Perhaps it really was just a one off. He thought. Grabbing his jacket, he headed over to Laura with a slight spring in his step. When he looked over at James, he found the young man watching them. The look in his eyes was familiar and yet new to James's features. Robbie's heart skipped a breath and his breath caught for a moment. "I'll be back in an hour, okay?"

James nodded, his lips curving into his familiar smirk, what Robbie down realise wasn't actually one of amusement but irritation, and... No, it couldn't be, jealousy.

"See you later, James." Laura smiled, wrapping her arm around Robbie's and leading him away from the office.

Robbie could just imagine what the gossips were going to say.

 

**_March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

They made themselves comfortable at a table by the river. The walk over had been conducted with small talk, Laura telling Robbie all about the upcoming concert she'd be performing in, he'd smiled and nodded, but hadn't really been listening. All his mind could focus on was James and the look on the younger man's face when Laura had dragged him out of the office. On how many times he'd seen that tight smile and thought it was James teasing him. Joking with him. Lord he was a blithering idiot.

"How's it going at the station?" Laura asked eventually, when there was no other subject to distract them.

Robbie lifted his pint and took a long gulp before replying. "I feel like a bloody zoo animal." he sighed, setting the glass back down.

Laura looked at her place. "Not unsurprising considering the circumstances. How's James taking it?"

"Not a clue." Robbie shrugged, folding his arms. "He's barely said two words to me all morning. - He's handed in his resignation."

Laura's head shot up, eyes widening with surprise. "Why?"

"Say he doesn't want to work with another DI. - But I think it's more than that." he confessed. "He's been struggling for a while now. As good as he is at this job," Robbie sighed warily, shaking his head. "There's a part of him that's just not cut out for it."

"How do you feel about him leaving?" Laura asked softly.

Robbie met her gaze. "He's the best sergeant I've had, and together we make a half decent copper," as he'd said to James not three weeks ago. "But I don't want to see this job destroy him. He said he didn't want to end up old and alone."

"Like Morse."

"Like Morse." Robbie confirmed, turning to stare at the water, watching a couple of students on the other side.

"Is that why he signed up for the experiment?" Laura asked.

Robbie shrugged. "I guess. He hadn't really told me why he did it. Said something about hoping it would..." he paused, trailing off as the pieces slotted into place. Some bloody detective he was. He let out a groan and shook his head.

"Robbie?"

"God I'm a bloody idiot." he muttered.

Laura remained silent for a long while, watching him closely.

Robbie frowned over at his old friend. "What?"

"Nothing." she shook her head.

"I know that look, Laura." Robbie insisted, frustrated with the whole bloody mess.

She pushed her plate away, leaving it mostly untouched, and leant back in her chair. One hand playing with her glass. "I know that look too." she said with a half-smile. "It's the look you get when you've cracked the case, and considering you aren't working anything right now, I'm going to make a guess that it's more of a personal revelation."

Robbie inhaled sharply, eyes widening. "I..."

Laura silenced him. "I'm actually surprised it's taken you this long."

"What's taken me this long?" he asked cautiously.

"James," Laura exhaled. "He's in love with you."

Robbie froze.

They sat silently watching one another.

"How long have you...known?" Robbie whispered.

Laura shrugged, dropping her gaze to stare at her wine glass. "I've suspected for a while. A girl picks up on these things." she smiled. "We have a kind of radar when it comes to snarky jealousy."

Robbie swallowed, dropping his own gaze to his lap. "I had no idea."

Laura huffed a laugh. "Men usually don't. - I thought he'd gotten over it when I realised what was going on with Fiona."

Robbie shifted awkwardly in his seat at the name.

"Then you two..." she tilted her glass at his folded arms.

"It wasn't planned." Robbie insisted. "Neither of us knew..."

"I know." Laura quickly reassured.

"I didn't sign up for any of this."

"Didn't you?" Laura challenged.

"I just said, we didn't know we'd get matched to one another."

"No." Laura acknowledged. "But you knew there was a possibility you'd be matched to another man," she pointed out. "And you agreed to that, despite having another viable opinion." she meet his gaze meaningfully. "You made that choice, Robbie, for a reason."

"I'm not gay."

"Neither is James, you're point?" she huffed, lifting her wine and taking a long sip. "The fact is, Robbie, we come from a generation that separated people into two groups. You were either normal, or gay."

Robbie nodded.

"None of us really understood there was a middle ground."

"What makes you think I'm...?" Robbie frowned.

"Because James wasn't the only one giving off those jealous vibes." she smiled. "When I pointed out his relationship with Fiona..." she shook her head, looking at her glass once more.

"I'm the one that got him to sort things out with her before she left." he reminded.

"And James has spent the last three years trying to get us together. What do they say, _if you love them, set them free_? You've both wanted the other to be happy, even if it was at the detriment of your own happiness. The difference is, James did it knowingly." she smirked.

Robbie stared at the water, his mind reeling.

"I'm not usually one to buy into all that destiny rubbish, Robbie, but this whole situation with you and James is really making me question my belief system."

Robbie huffed out a laugh. "It wasn't destiny." he rolled his eyes.

"You don't think so?" she smiled.

"No. It was just a coincidence."

Laura smiled, laughing to herself. "The universe is rarely that lazy."

Robbie frowned. "What?"

"Nothing." Laura chuckled, waving it off. She leant forward, meeting Robbie's gaze. "Destiny or coincidence, it doesn't matter. What does matter, is what you're going to do about it now."

Robbie stared at her. "I..." he shook his head. "I have no bloody idea."

 

**_March: I'm Gonna March You Down The Aisle_**

 

He arrived back at the office to find James gone. Someone said he'd gone home sick not long after Robbie had left with Laura, and the way the DC said it made it absolutely clear she thought they were having a lovers tiff.

While he'd considered leaving too, Robbie decided to finish out the day, and get his head on straight. His conversation with Laura had left him almost as confused as he'd been before unloading on her, but she hadn't given him one piece of important advice, he needed to sort himself out before James got hurt.

So that's what he did. In between case reports and witness statements, he asked himself over and again, what he really wanted, and whether he was ready and willing to take it.

When 5 o'clock finally rolled around, with no case to keep him in the office longer than needs be, he headed out. He stopped off at the Indian on the way, grabbing the dinner they'd agreed on that morning. Half an hour after leaving the station, he walked into the flat to the welcomed sound of the TV. He breathed a sigh of relief, half expecting James to have vanished off to parts unknown.

Rounding the doorway, Robbie paused to find James stretched out on the couch, fast asleep. His arms were folded comfortably over his chest and his legs were crossed at the ankles. He'd stripped out of his work suit and was lazing in a part of dark jeans and his Run DMC t-shirt. Robbie smiled at him, laying there looking perfectly at home.

Robbie watched him sleep, and acknowledged his desire to walk around the coffee table and press a kiss to his forehead, as he'd done so many time with Val. He couldn't though, not yet. Not until they sorted everything out. _Soon though, with any_ _luck_ , he though. A vision of them two months from now, James sleeping on the couch after a long day at the college and him strolling in after another gruelling case.

Shaking off the fantasy, Robbie stepped around the end of the couch and set the large paper bag on the table. He tapped James's thigh, waking him, before heading to the kitchen for plates, forks and beer. He heard James moan behind him, and felt his heart skip, his blood rushing south. When he turned back, James was sat up straight, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep." James said, voice rough and thick.

"It's fine. How are you feeling? DC Wells said you'd come home sick."

James flushed, looking up only briefly. "Better, thanks."

"You sure?" Robbie asked, taking the seat close to James. He set the plates on the table and handed the younger man a beer.

"Yeah."

"Probably just a hangover." Robbie smirked.

James huffed. "I don't get hangovers." he insisted.

"I know that's a lie." Robbie argued. "You might not get them often, but I know you get them."

James narrowed his eyes at him. "I thought we agreed never to mention that."

Robbie laughed. They dished up their dinner and sat back. "What is this?"

"I don't know, I was watching a documentary on the Fall of Rome before I fell asleep."

"So we can turn this off?"

"Not up to expand your horizons?" James teased.

"I think you've expanded my horizons enough for one year, thanks." He felt James's eyes on him but didn't turn to meet the gaze, instead leaning forward to grab the control.

"The Weakest Link?" James frowned.

"Better than nothing." Robbie shrugged, gathering a forkful of madras and rice.

Robbie wasn't surprised that James answered practically all the questions correctly. He joked about James signing up and making his fortune being the smartarse he was. In reply James had grunted and grumbled about not liking the attention, which of course Robbie already knew.

When their meal was finished and the credits rolled, Robbie got up to carry their plates to the kitchen, James close behind with the rubbish. While Robbie began the washing up, James hovered behind him, like an uncertain spectre.

"You okay?" Robbie asked, looking over his shoulder.

"Fine." James replied coolly, grabbing the tea towel and beginning to dry. "How was lunch with Dr Hobson?" he asked after a few minutes of silent work.

Robbie looked up at him, taking in the tightening of his jaw as he waited for an answer. "We had lunch, talked. She was telling me about a concert coming up."

"Oh." James hummed. "I didn't know she played an instrument."

"Clarinet, apparently."

"What is she performing?"

"Holst's the Planets." Robbie replied, handing James the last plate. "I think she wants us to buy tickets."

"When is it?"

"Not until next month." Robbie clarified, switching off the water and reaching for the tea towel James was holding.

"I doubt I'll be able to afford it, I won't be starting the new job for a while yet, so I'll have to stretch out my savings."

Robbie looked up at him. "If you don't mind going, I'll pay."

"That won't be necessary." James shook his head.

"So you're just going to make me go on my own?" Robbie grumbled. "Now I know how Jean." he chuckled.

"Pardon?" James frowned.

"When her husband keeps making her go to these knob dos alone." Robbie grinned.

James stared down at him, and Robbie felt the back of his neck warming up. "Not exactly the same thing." James insisted quietly.

"I guess not." Robbie muttered, not breaking eye contact. " _Her_ husband doesn't want to go, mine is just stubbornly refusing to due to pride. - It comes before a fall you know."

They were silent for a few long seconds, neither looking away. Robbie could feel his heart picking up pace in his head and his stomach beginning to tie itself in knots. James's chest was rising and falling in quick succession, and his face was reddening by the second.

"I...uh...I need to..." James began to stammer, stepping back. He collided with the kitchen counter and hissed.

Robbie had never seen this side of him before, he'd always been so confident. "James?" he reached out.

"Um, I've got to..." he twisted away from Robbie, walking quickly out of the kitchen.

Robbie closed his eyes for a second, rubbing at them before straightening. "Stop hiding." he said, just as James turned the corner. The sound of feet stopped and he exhaled. Robbie strolled out of the kitchen and into the small hall. He found James stood frozen to the spot, his back to him. "You said you wanted to stop hiding, so stop."

James was silent, shaking his head at the beige carpet.

Robbie leant his shoulder on the wall, folding his arms as he watched James's back. "Me and Laura didn't just talk about her concert." he said softly. "We talking about...us."

James inhaled sharply, his back straightening. "Us?" he scoffed.

Robbie ignored his tone and continued. "The thing is, I could have pulled out of this damn experiment the second Gregory mentioned the possibility of me being matched with another man. I could have walked away when I found out I had been, but I didn't. I stayed."

"You wanted to find someone, you didn't think you'd seriously be matched with a man."

"Perhaps." Robbie shrugged. "But I was, and it didn't change my mind."

"You stuck in there to help out. Gregory told you what it would mean if they had to start over."

"Hmmm. Does that really sound like me? If I'd really been against this, nothing anyone said would have changed my mind."

"What are you saying?" James groaned, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Robbie tugged awkwardly on his ear lobe. "That maybe I continued on with this because subconsciously I wanted to be matched with a man."

James shook his head. "You're not gay."

"Neither are you." Robbie pointed out. "I grew up knowing l liked girls, I fell in love with a woman. If I had looked at another guy I never acknowledged it to myself, let alone anyone else."

"And now you are?" James asked sceptically.

Robbie's gaze travelled down the length of James's slim frame, reliving all those times he'd seen James half clothed. Sweat sleeked or soaking wet, shirt clinging to his chest. His breathing hitched and his cock stirred for the second time that day. "Yes."

James turned suddenly, fixing Robbie with narrow unimpressed blue eyes. "You're just lonely. You want someone to fill the gap your dead wife left! It's not real!"

Robbie straightened, hands going to his hips defensively. "Firstly, no one could ever fill the gap Val's death left, ever!" he fumed. "Secondly, if this was only about not being alone, I could have married Laura, or gotten myself some mail order bride!" he stepped angrily forward. "It certainly would have been less stressful, and wouldn't have resulted in losing you as my sergeant and probably the best friend I've had in years!"

"You didn't chose me, four strangers and a computer did. You could have ended up with some complete stranger, and then what?" James insisted, talking over Robbie's defence.

"I don't know, I can't answer that." Robbie dragged his hands through his hair. "It would have most likely been a disaster, because apparently I've had a crush on you for a while according to Laura."

James froze again, staring at him in shock. "W-what?"

Robbie shifted awkwardly on his feet, shrugging. "The fact is James, the last month has really made me think and question myself. I've spent the last couple of week going over the past three years. You said that I'm the reason you stayed."

James nodded cautiously.

"Well..." he took a step forward. "You know I don't believe in him anymore, but...I'm beginning to think, maybe someone up there wanted us to meet." Robbie smiled.

"How do you know this isn't all in your head? If you get told something enough..."

Robbie took another couple of steps forward. "How about we test that theory." he reached up, gently cradling the back of James's neck.

"Robbie." James whispered as he lowered his head.

"Shhh, Lad."

It wasn't anything like what Robbie was expecting. He'd thought it would feel weird, especially with James being taller than him. He'd been prepared for the scrap of James's 5 o'clock shadow to be off putting and send him reeling, but in the end it had simply been a kiss between two people who cared for one another. It had left Robbie feeling breathless, dizzy and amazed.


	5. Epilogue

**Six Months Later**

Robbie checked his tie for the fourth time in twenty minutes, and glanced around the small waiting room.

"What are you so nervous about?" Laura laughed. "You've been married for six months already."

Robbie laughed. "I don't know. This time suddenly feels a lot more real."

"That's because you're not doing it in secret." Lynn huffed, patting his hand and tugging it back into place.

The hardest part of the past six months had undoubtedly been sitting down with Lynn and then Mark, and explaining that he wasn't just married to a man, but actually in love with him. Oh, and he's younger than the both of them. Of course that wasn't the most awkward part, no, that had come in the form of Lynn turning up at his front door the evening after the paper had printed the story of their marriage. James had answered the door naked but for Robbie's bathroom, giving Lynn the shock of her life.

After that had come anger, shock, and denial. There'd been shouting and crying. James had tried to slip away, not wanting to come between them, only for Lynn to drag him back in, demanding a thousand answers.

James's family hadn't been any more overjoyed by their situation, and frankly Robbie didn't think Philip Hathaway would ever accept him. Nell was far harder to judge, she was always nice to his face but he got the feeling James got an ear full when they were alone. Thankfully, he hadn't let it get to him.

James certainly seemed a lot happier in himself without the stress of keeping his feelings locked away. and so was Robbie.

"Everything all right in here?" James asked, strolling casually into the room.

Lynn rolled her eyes. "It would be if dad would stop messing up his tie."

James smirked at him and Robbie's heart skipped a beat. James made him feel like he was twenty again. He'd come to the conclusion months ago that the adage you're only as old as the man you feel, was absolutely correct.

"Everyone here?" Robbie asked.

James nodded. "Yes. - Nell somehow even managed to convince my father to come."

Robbie raised his brows in surprise and smile. "I'm glad."

James smile nervously. "I just hope he doesn't decided to cause a scene."

When Lynn stepped away, Robbie held out his hand for James, pulling him close. "It'll be fine." he insisted, leaning up to kiss his husband.

"Okay, that's our cue to leave." Laura laughed. "We'll see you out there. Good luck." she gave them a thumbs up as she slipped out of the room, closing the door behind them.

"I'm sorry Mark couldn't be here." James said quietly once they were alone.

"It can't be helped." Robbie smiled reassuringly.

"Did Gregory tell you that we're one of only two couples who are staying together?" James informed him with a smug grin.

"Oh." Robbie laughed. "Don't tell me Olivia and Rupert stuck it out."

James shook his head, chuckling. "No. Harvey Wallis and Michael Darby."

Robbie couldn't help but laugh harder. "So the only couples who made it work were the same sex ones. I'm not sure if that's funny or sad."

"A bit of both." James shrugged.

"I heard from Turnbull today, Father Wydam got seven years."

James sighed. "Shame."

"Aye, but it could have been worse if that waitress hadn't come forward he might have gotten done for murder rather than manslaughter."

A knock on the door had the pair turning to see Maddox's head poking in through a small gap. "Sorry sir, but the Chief Super sent me to find out if you were ready, I think she wants to get to the pub." Maddox grinned.

"Alright, we're coming." Robbie nodded, waving her off.

She shot them a cheeky wicked grin before vanishing back to her room.

"I like her." James laughed.

Robbie nodded. "Aye, she's a good lass. - Not a patch on my previous sergeant, but you know, he decided to go join the knobs."

James raised a brow. "Really? Terrible. Though I heard it was because he'd gone and fallen in love with his handsome, occasionally grumpy Inspector."

"Funny, I heard that rumour too. Don't blame him."

"Me neither." James grinned, leaning down to kiss Robbie. "I think we should get out there before Innocent came in and drags us out."

"Okay lad." Robbie nodded, holding out his arm. "May I march you do the aisle?"

James grinned down at him, taking his hand instead of his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the ending sucked. I tried to make it good but I really struggled with how to get James and Robbie together without dragging the story on for too long. I hope you at least enjoyed some of this fic, and I'd like to thank you for sticking around to this point, I appreciate you taking the time to read, it means a lot.
> 
>  
> 
> UPDATE: Thank you to deacertes for pointing out mistakes.


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